YOT Day 47 - Change

Do you think people change?  I sure do.  People change for the better and for the worse.  Now, I do also believe it takes a very strong person to change.  When you live your life one way, it is so difficult to change to another way; no matter how big or small the change is.  Have you ever tried to change?  Have you tried anything big or anything small - either way it is hard.  Have you tried to change the way you eat?  Have you tried to quit smoking?  Have you tried to change your attitude?  Have you tried to become a better person?  Have you tried to stop using drugs?  All of these are hard to do when you have lived the other way so long!  I know - I have tried many of them.  (I never smoked  or used any drugs, so I never needed to try those.)

Here I sit, not having changed the way I eat.  Well, maybe a bit - I no longer sit and eat an entire bag of Oreos or a full pint of ice cream.  That is a big deal for me but small in perspective of the world.  I am currently trying a few different things.  Maybe I should try to change how many things I try to change at one time - maybe later.  I am really working right now on becoming a better wife and human being.  I think those two should sort of be related.  I need to treat my husband better - with upmost respect and love.   I want to, I have to. 

What causes people to change is sometimes a mystery.  Sometimes there is a tragic event; they lose a loved one.  Sometimes it is something they do; they accidentally hurt or kill a loved one or an innocent bystander.  Sometimes they are shown the right path; their family intervenes and gets through to them or maybe they find religion.  Faith, for those that have it, can be very powerful and if that's what it takes to bring someone back from the brink, then I am all for it - for them.  Sometimes, though, it is something they see or hear happen.  It may not be an event that they are even involved in directly but an even that touches them and opens their eyes.  This is what has happened to me. 

The Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting changed my perspective on so many things.  This change in me is not a big or even a drastic one.  But it is a change, a realization even.  I need to be a better person in general.  Admittedly, I am on Pinterest (Lisa Haagen).  Going there is not something I do often anymore, but it is a good place to find ideas for the house, and to store ideas I find on StumbleUpon.  There is a quote I keep seeing.  Well, I see it in many different forms but it is still as powerful (and I am not a huge quote person).  Basically, it says to be the person you want your child to grow up being.  That says so much.  Actions speak louder than words, especially with kids.  I can tell him thousands of times to say "please" and "thank you", but if I don't ever say it, he won't.  I can tell him to be nice to the kitty but if he sees me being mean, he will think that is ok.  If he sees me yelling at his dad, he might think that's how people talk to each other.  On the other hand, if he sees me talk politely to a homeless man, or put food out for a stray cat, or write a thank you note to someone, he will think that's ok too.  So, that is what I need to make sure he sees.  And I need to make sure he sees it often enough to make an impression.  I need to change the way I live. 

What changed in me is also the realization that we all have an obligation to show every child, even those that are not our own, that people can be GOOD; that people should be good.  We need to perform more random acts of kindness every day.  No matter how small...it can make a huge difference.  I once told a girl how much I loved her hair.  Simple.  Easy to do.  She told me what a bad day she was having and was so touched and thrilled at the compliment.  She thanked me with tears in her eyes.  Since then, I talk to people more - even as anti-social as I am.  Sometimes it just isn't about me and my irrational fear of speaking to people; sometimes it is about putting that aside and making someone's day better. 

As of now, I have been a nice person.  I have my moments, of course, we all do.  But all in all, I am a good person.  I can be better. I should be better.  I will be better. For this, I will raise a great little boy who will carry this on.  That makes me happy.