Wedding

Have you ever wanted something to be over so much and then, when it finally is, you hate the end and regret wishing it to go by too fast? That was this weekend for me.

Don't get me wrong, being asked by someone to marry them, to officiate their wedding, is an amazing, brilliant, probably once in a lifetime honor. I was beyond shocked when they asked me to do it and so terrified right away.  No, seriously, since last June, I have been terrified for March 15th to come. There was NO way in hell I would ever say "no" to this for Mindy and Bo. None. The answer was an absolutely "YES" from the first second (maybe it was because they were buying me sushi. Don't judge me, it was incredible sushi). There were no second thoughts, but I was scared. This is a HUGE deal! Really, it is. This is a moment they will remember for the rest of their lives. If it goes awry, it would be a cringe-worthy memory instead of the thrilling one they are hoping for having. You may have noticed, but I am not the most confident crayon in the box. I was willing to do it, excited even, but completely confident only in that I would screw it up. The couple, on the other hand, was more than optimistic about the outcome of their day. I thought they were maniacal.

It was June when they asked. I know this because that is when I applied to be ordained through Universal Life Church Monasteries. I came home and applied that night. See? I was excited.  I began thinking up my role that night. I got nowhere until the week of the wedding. However, from the comments I received at the wedding, I kicked ass. Never have I had so many random people I have never met come take my hand in theirs and hold it while telling me what an amazing job I had done. It was awkward and fabulous. This and the guy who, in the middle of the ceremony, randomly shouted out, "Best. Wedding. Ever!" I don't know who you are but I love you.

The absolute, without a doubt best part of this wedding though has to be the new friendships that were formed. Over the years, I have been in several weddings but I have never in my bridesmaid career met such an incredible, perfectly fitted, hilarious group of people. This feeling hit me the instant Jesiree walked into the airport and greeted me with the type of hug one gives a long lost friend. It was our first meeting. This was the feeling with everyone I met after that. Just about every one of us in the wedding cast just clicked. It was as if Bo and Mindy chose us so carefully to ensure this happened. When, in actuality, it was simply that those two just draw friends that happen to be some of the most wicked awesome people in the world. We all talked and laughed and even got tattoos together all while spending time together in a hotel room the night before the wedding. (Did we promise to not ever admit they were Dollar Tree glittery girly tattoos? I can't remember).

There are always people you meet that make you want to say "we should get together sometime" but in this case, I am so extremely hopeful that we make that happen. I have stalked them all on Facebook so that I don't lose them. In fact, since the wedding, I have been privileged to be part of conversations taking place in photo comments resulting in hilarious rantings and more comments a photo should ever have. Honestly, I feel that many of these friendships will be lifelong. Great Scott, I hope so.

Mindy and Bo also have this exceptionally fabulous framily circle. Yup, framily. If you are IN with Bo, Mindy or their parents then you are family. They honestly do not seem to have typical friends. This wedding felt like it was 225 members of their family. So, framily it is. I love them...all of them! They are all so sweet, caring, and intensely loving.

As promised, here is a basic transcript of the ceremony. It was changed a bit here and there and there was a bit of ad lib work happening but this is the gist of it all.

Above all, I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to do this for such fantastic people. I love Bo and Mindy so much, as does everyone else that meets them. This, to me, was a once in a lifetime chance even though my husband smiled and said to me at the end of the wedding, "I don't think this will be your last wedding gig".
_________________________________________________________________________________
There is no greater feeling than that of being loved. I believe I can speak for Mindy and Bo when I say, they can feel it right now. There are so many people that have come from so many places to be here. Along with their parents and families, Mindy and Bo would like to not only thank everyone for being here and sharing in the rhapsody of today but for being a part of their past, present and future. 

Allons-Y! 


The first impressions these two gave me years ago could not have been more opposite. It was a perfect, sunny day at Marsha Neal's wedding reception when Chris introduced me to Mindy and her amazing mom, Noel. We talked, laughed, drank and got along like we had always been friends. The moment she walked away, I turned to Chris and said, "I love her. We will be friends. Make it so." Mindy, in a world of ordinary mortals, you are a Wonder Woman.”


Bo, on the other hand was a tad more shaky. It was a late night at Brandon Gunnip's poker party. Alicia and I were standing alone talking in the kitchen when a dark-haired stranger walked in, stopped in front of us and just shrugged his shoulders with this look on his face as it to say "You are girls. Why are you here and what have you done with the men?". Alicia, the smarter of the two of us apparently, immediately directed him to the garage where we had stashed the men. My judgmental self, on the other hand, complained to Chris on the ride home about this rude guy that just came in without as much as a "hello". The shock and very defensive almost hurt tone in Chris' voice when he said "Are you talking about Bo? He was rude? He is never rude. He's just shy." should have told me I was completely wrong. I quickly learned that I could not have been more mistaken about Bo.


A few years later, in the same Gunnip kitchen at a different poker party, Alicia and I were having an argument about which of us had the bigger crush on Bo. It went on for a few drinks until we both realized that we were actually married and neither of us could technically have Bo. So a challenge was presented. Which of us could get our bonus sisters together with Bo first? Alicia would have Amanda to work with and I had Heather. The race was on. This battle raged for months and it was relentless! Apparently, though, neither of us had, in fact, told our bonus sisters or Bo about our plan but the race continued anyway. It came to an abrupt end in the arena of all epic battles, Facebook. I saw Bo and Mindy were in a relationship. My first thought was not of the challenge being lost but was that of "Oh, damn, that makes perfect sense. Why didn't I think of that?"


I knew, right there sitting in front of that Facebook page that this was it for them. These two together was just the perfect pairing. Everyone I talked to about it said the same thing. It just made sense. We all have genuinely enjoyed watching Mindy and Bo becoming who they are today, falling in love, and getting to this point. 


Since he was not allowed to wear a flower girl dress, John Waltrip has been invited to grace us with a reading. *Reading by John Waltrip*


Much to the excitement and anticipation of many of us and the fear instilled in Bo, Mindy and Bo have written their own vows. *Vows and Rings*


Typically, I would ask Mindy and Bo a bunch of boring questions to which they will agree without even paying any attention. Today, however, we are switching it up. Today, they better pay attention because their parents are asking the questions. Bo's parents, Jan and Louie have prepared their own personal questions to ask Mindy while Mindy's parents, Noel and Tom (as long as Tom finished his homework) have their own to ask Bo. *Do You Questions*

Mindy and Bo not only do things for us, that make us want to do things for them. Sometimes we brave the cold and rain to go to a hockey themed bachelorette party. Sometimes the make us do girly things, sometimes they just inspire us to be better people. These two crazy kids are everything we want in friends. They are giving, caring, intelligent and so very funny. Unless Elijah Wood walks through the door, I don't think we need to ask if anyone can think of a reason these two should not be married. Instead, I am going to ask if anyone has any reason they SHOULD be. *guests speak*

Every single one of us in this room is here because Bo, Mindy, or, most likely, both, love each of us. WE are the most important people in their lives. I once heard a friend say that the way to determine a wedding invitation list was to make sure everyone on it was someone you would take and treat to dinner. This room, however is filled with people Bo and Mindy would not only buy dinner, but for whom they would do so much more. I can guarantee that everyone in this room can name at least one time either of these two did something exceptional for them or, just took them to dinner.  Now it's our turn to pay them back and show our love for them. They have included us in their wedding not only as guests of the ceremony but as a part of their married lives. This is not a free ride though, it is a duty as their friends, as their family. Do you know the person sitting next to you? Maybe, maybe not, maybe you do but don't want to, either way, we are all connected. We are all part of this new family. It is our duty to help in this marriage, to support, encourage, and love them. It is our duty to be there for them for the ups and the downs. When they have a fight, we need to remind them of this day and why and how they got here. We also need to be strong and brave enough to let Mindy know that maybe this month food is more important than the $500 pair of shoes she found on sale. Maybe.

Mindy and Bo, you are loved more than you could ever know and you are not in this alone. Each of us is here to help and guide you. SO SAY WE ALL.


Would you like to update your Facebook statuses? *update Facebook*

I would love to now declare you husband and wife - Mr. and Mrs. Bo Nash. 

Kiss her!


A pretty cool observation

The interwebs have a way of jading us in so many ways. So very many ways. It turns us against everything, if we listen to it all.It makes us hate men, corporations, skinny women, moms, social media (well, any media), the government, the internet itself, OURSELVES, and pretty much everyone and everything on the planet. Given enough time on the net, one can find enough cons to hate everything out there. Except cats. Reddit will never let anyone hate cats.

This has been haunting me for just about all of my adult life. Not all, there was a time when I thought I was pretty damn cute and downright sexy (a little bit) too. I mean, it wasn't glaring but the feeling was there. I could at least turn some heads now and then. I felt confident and comfortable riding in a convertible, that's for sure. Later, a long time ago, I started gaining weight and, in turn, losing self-esteem just like everyone else that has weight gain. So much so that I gave up the convertible because I hated being in it. I have a (probably stupid) theory that people in convertibles get more attention on the road. I know they get it from me. You see a girl driving with the top down and you look. Prior to this, I liked that. I would notice the looks and thrive off it; it could be a great ego boost. Afterwards though, the looks I got felt, to my weak mind, like judgment looks. "Why is SHE driving that car?" or "Oh, wow, that's not what I expected her to look like when I pulled up alongside." So, I stopped putting the top down. Then I just gave up the car altogether. I couldn't stand the judgments from others when i was doing enough judging of myself. It has been that way ever since. Not once since then have I wanted to even ride with someone in a convertible. (I told you, I have stupid ideas at times, yes.) The feeling of wanting to hide from everyone and putting myself out there just don't collaborate. \

The web is filled with memes and blogs telling everyone to stop judging others; telling everyone else how judgmental everyone on Earth is. Today, I had a completely unexpected revelation. Lars had a friend's birthday party and so while he was stuffing cake and Cheetos into his face, I was talking with a couple of moms. Well, I sat next to them while they were talking and just nodded as I interrupted them. I tend to invite myself to conversations when I am nervous and being in a big group makes me terrified. Anyway, they were discussing their trials and tribulations with losing weight. One of them saying that she saw herself in a picture and felt she looked so huge. You know in the cartoons when a character is running and they literally skid to a stop? Yeah, that's what my brain did. My first thought was that I completely heard them wrong and they were talking about someone else they saw or know. The one that made the photo comment is stunning and has a figure I would do anything for (except diet and exercise, apparently). It was right then and there that I realized these two moms have always been extremely nice to me and we seem to get along quite well. They have never avoided me because I am the fat mom at the parties or not as pretty as them or even because they are better moms than I am. They never ever made me feel like they felt those things toward me. I always thought they would; my brain always told me all the other moms noticed those things about me. They didn't. Ok, if they DID,the did not let on. In fact, they were feeling bad about themselves.

That realization today is that many people really don't care what I look like. Of course, the guys' heads don't turn anymore but I don't think that is a judgement on their part; it is a simple fact of attractiveness not being there. The thought hit me today that it is possible that some of us that feel judged the most only FEEL we are being judged because of our own self-judgments making us assume everyone is judging us for the same things. Sure, there are people that judge us. There always will be. However, we can't go around assuming everyone is doing so. Just because the internet assumes everyone is judging us doesn't mean they really are. In fact, the internet seems to judge us more than anyone. Go try it. Go in Reddit with a post anything other than a cat and you'll see in five minutes in the comments.

I now have a new goal for losing weight: to feel comfortable in a convertible again. I can do that.

Weight Loss Attempt version 28.5.1: Step 1

Many times I have tried. Many (ok, fine, ALL times) I have failed. This time - well, this time it may not be any better but I am at least going about it a new way so there's that. In defining insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, I also define my method to lose weight. Look at me; doing whatever I have been doing, or ever done, is obviously NOT working for me. Maybe it worked for her or that guy over there but not for me and really, I don't care what that girl did because I am not her.

Starting this time, I am winging it. Yup - no set plan just baby steps with whatever feels right at the time. No schedule. No expectations. No set restrictions for the long term. No diet. I am (understating this) not good with restrictions. Tell me I can't have it and BAM, I want it more than anything. Slowly take it away from me and I might be able to handle it better. Although, no one ever really tries to take anything from me so I don't know how this will go.

Step 1 (and so far, my only step planned)

Water, water everywhere. Only water for me. No tea, no coffee, no soda, no juice, nothing. Water. Sometimes I might add some lime but that's it. The only exception to be made here is alcohol because, what am I, a Mormon? Seriously, no way am I giving that up. I don't drink often enough to make it a problem anyway so blah blah. If I go out, I might drink an adult beverage (or 5) but other than the occasional going out, water only. My plan for this is at least 21 days. Everything will be in a 21 day plan at first. Longer will be better but I am  going with the habit-forming 21 day standard to begin with. After this, we will see how it goes. I expect it will either work for me and I will just be great with only water after the 21 days or I will wonder what drug I was taking that made me think this was a good idea. If this works, I may go for something else like giving up sweets *shudder* or something like that.

This started today and so far has gone great! I forgot once and took a sip of our Soda Stream Diet Grapefruit drink but it was only a sip so sue me. *Fine print: there is no actual legal action necessary at this time please do not sue me as I really have nothing to give you. Life goes on, the water still flows. I have bottles of it all over in my refrigerator and will be taking them with me everywhere I go. If I don't have a bottle with me, please feel free to get me a water - with lime because that makes me feel like I am drinking a margarita from the world's worst or cheapest bartender.

Plans - not resolutions - for 2014

I am not big on resolutions.  One simply cannot make absolute resolutions for an entire year; it is not realistic to me and leaves so much room for failure.   I can, however, make plans.  I intend to do these things but they are not strict, firm decisions.  Things change, things fall apart, plans change.  If you make a resolution and it is not followed through upon, due to any number of reasons, you have failed.  If you make a plan and the situation changes, your plan can change.  Resolutions are too steadfast for me.  My life, and my mind, is ever-changing.  These are not "new year - new me" items,  They are things I have needed to do anyway and writing it down always helps.

I do have many plans for 2014 though! These are in NO order and this probably will not be a complete list.  It may be a long one, feel free to read in shifts. 

1.  I plan on finishing my Year of Thanks.  Yeah, it is a bit late but I am still thankful for things.  Last December really got to me and I put a lot of things off.  This year, though, I am going to get my focus back in line and get things done.  The Year of Thanks is on that list.  I only competed 73 out of 365 so I have a bit of making up to do.

2.  I plan on moving to a new house.  I REALLY want this to happen.  At first, it is up to us and in our hands.  We need to finish painting and getting the house in order to get it listed but the PLAN is to have it on the market in January.  We found an agent we love and are so excited to work with her.  After we list the house though, it is a bit out of our control.  We then just need someone to love our house...all we need is ONE.  Fingers crossed!    Then we need to find a new house.  That's tough too as I can be picky.  I know, right? SHOCKER!! I want a pool, a fireplace, and enough space to have, well, space to play and live but I also want it under a certain price.  We may need to stay in an apartment for a bit until we find the perfect place but that's ok too - at least in an apartment I will have a pool!

3.  I plan on giving order to Lars' artwork.  He has been making art in school since he started daycare and I have done several things with all of it but have never been consistent.  Starting in 2014, I will scan every piece of it (that is not "scribble scrabble" as he calls it) and upload it into a photo book using Snapfish or one of the other photo book making places.  Whichever one has the best deal going on.  My intent is todo this yearly or by class (depending on when he moves classes/grades in school).  He begins a new class in January so that is an idea time to begin!  Going though his older stuff, I will do the same to it although it may not be in the correct order/class but ten years from now, who will know the difference anyway?

4.  I plan on taking one photograph a day.  It may not be of anything special, or even anything specific but I am going to try to take one picture a day to capture our lives, our actions, our emotions, everything.  One day it might be a family photo at LegoLand.  Another it may be a cool statue we saw on a walk down the street.  Who knows!?!  It is exciting! Oh, and at the end of the year, I will make all of these into a photo book as well.  Come on Snapfish - you've got a lot of business coming up - how about a good deal??

5.  I plan on doing Christmas shopping all year long.  If I see something I like for someone, I am going to buy it even if that is in January.  In fact, I created Amazon wish lists for all of my friends and family so that I can keep track of things I think they will like.  Alicia Gunnip and Mindy Smith (although, I named your Nash so I don't have to change it later plus by the time you get any gifts, you will be Nash anyway) already have gift ideas in there.  P.S. I made them all private so no one can see what I have in there.  BAM!  Don't go snooping.  P.P.S  You guys should alk use Amazon Wish Lists more - you can put EVERYTHING on there even if you find it on another site and Amazon doesn't sell it.  I know! That's awesome!  You can have everything you want on the internet in one list so that everyone can see it all.

6.  I plan on eating healthier, walking more, and swimming.  Period.  No weight loss goals.  No promises to exercise four times a week.  No false pretenses that I will eat under 1,500 calories a day. I just plan on eating healthier.  At first, that may simply mean I don't eat cookies for a week.  It is a small step and it means that I will be eating healthier than I would normally...so it's a WIN!  My Fitbit will get more use as well.  I keep forgetting about it when I take it off to charge it.  I don't know when the eating healthier thing will start because as I type this I am seriously craving some chocolate brownies.

7.  I plan on not ever giving up chocolate brownies.

8.  I plan on doing more for others.  Charity!  In fact,  I started a group - we have called ourselves WHO Cares (Women Helping Others). **Update:  There already IS a charity named W.H.O (Women Helping Others) - they took our name so we will be thinking of a new name.  It was either that or "Super Exclusive Charity Club"...exactly.  Our goal for this year is just to do monthly events for charity.  We are not sure what those events will be yet but we know we will do something - for others.  Our big goal is to have a fancypants ball at the end of the year or the start of the next.  If that doesn't happen, at least we will have done a bunch of other things throughout the year.

9.  We are still planning on Haagen 3.0 coming this year!  We had our one-on-one with the case manager over at Jonathan's Place and think it went well.  We are psyched about this and cannot wait!!  Classes start in January.  So, not much to report on until then but we will keep you posted.

10. I plan on more time with friends.  Moving to Arlington this year will help with that but even if that takes longer than expected, we plan on making more time with friends.  Movie and game nights, ice cream nights, drive-ins, LegoLand days, whatever.

11.  I plan on not procrastinating as much.  Far too often, I find myself putting things off in favor of doing something more ...well, lazy usually.  Most of the time, it is something that will only take a few minutes out of my time but I put it off and spend the time between that and actually doing it, worrying about it and thinking, "wow, this would have been easier if I had just done it".  So, maybe I should just do it from now on.

12.  I plan on writing more.  Still, I have no idea what to write but something will come out.  Most likely, most of it will be crap but it is still possible something good will come out of it.  Right?  Man, I hope so.