I have been sitting here watching this video trying to find the words to explain how it has made me feel. As per my usual - I am just going to start typing and you will all see what ends up coming out -usually unedited and from the heart - as it all should be.
For so many of us, girls as well as you boys, looking in the mirror every morning feels like a bit of disappointment starting our day. I know I feel that way quite often. The worst times are when I get my hair ready, get dressed, get all put together, think I look awesome and then I look. My heart sinks, my shoulders slump, my eyes droop a little, my smile fades, and I can only shrug and walk out the door. I mean, what else can I do? I tried so hard and this is all I get...barely mediocre. Depending on the situation, I may also cry. So, there is that little bit of awesomeness to add to it so my mediocre rating has now been downgraded to just plain pitiful.
I know what I look like, I am seeing it in a mirror. There is no arguing that. Perception, however, is personal and different for everyone in every situation.
This video shows so much.
It shows us that we see ourselves in such an incredibly darker light than those around us see us.
It shows us that we are so extremely hard on ourselves.
It shows us that we are better than we think.
It shows us why saying something nice to anyone may boost their esteem more than we think.
It shows us that we are all memorable.
It shows us that we need to learn to love ourselves as others love us.
It also makes me aware that if I feel this way, I know there must be others and I feel so sad for them too. The feeling I described above is not something I wish on anyone especially since it is an almost daily occurrence for me. I look around at all my friends and cannot think of a single person who should feel that way. No one. I also look around and realize that those I always think NEVER feel this way, probably do feel this way now and then. They just see negative things in themselves that I don't see...just like they see positive things in me that I am missing every day (I hope!).
I am going to try very hard to see those positive things in me. I am also going to try even harder to make sure I point out those positive things I see in others. I do give myself credit on this point, I am usually excellent about pointing out the positives I see in people. Just the other day, in the restroom at the sink, there was a girl that looked like she was having a rough day. Seeing this, I blurted out, "I really love your hair, it is beautiful!" Ok, maybe it was nothing special, just pretty, curly, brown hair but saying those simple words made her eyes beam, her smile seemed to light up the room, and she appeared to have a little bounce in her step when she walked out (smiling).
Why do we forget to do these things? Why is 10 seconds too much time to spend saying that to someone?
I am sneaking in a YOT because I am so super incredibly behind and need to grasp every opportunity at this point - but today, I am incredibly grateful for every compliment I get. I am honestly not always able to show how excited I feel, how proud, and how boosted I get when someone says something nice to me (and to be honest, sometimes I really don't believe the comment is true), but I am thankful for each one I get.
So I will share with you one of the nuggets I have picked up along the way.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend named “KP”. Great guy, comes from a depressed area but made it through and is doing well for himself. One day we are having a socioeconomic discussion about why certain things tend to happen in certain areas and the effect it has on a community as a whole.
And I posed this question to him. KP, please give me some insight on this particular question.
“We both agree that if you have an good education and graduate from college you will have a better opportunity in the corporate world and therefore be able to end the cycle that has plagued these depressed area’s for so long. “
He concurred with my assessment of the situation.
My follow up question was then put forth as such. “ If that is the case then why is it that most people in these areas NOT put as much effort into learning as they do in the GYM?”
He response was eye opening in its simplicity and effect.
He explained to me the reasoning behind that particular phenomena is “No matter what happens, no one can take that away from us”. And he further went on to explain that for those people in particular, going to the gym and getting results is how they are able to keep balanced. That is how they are able to channel what ever perceived slights or wrongs, whether they be real or imaginary are focused. The results they get from lifting all those weights and doing all that cardio etc, are tangible and may give that person some faith and hope for tomorrow.
Because no matter what happens to them, in the corporate world or in the living environment or in with the law. No one will ever be able to take away the hard work that they put into themselves. Its clean, its honest and its real.
Self Esteem is an interesting phenomena. Some people go to therapy, some people engage in interesting behavior. Some people eat. And some people go into the gym.
Its an interesting behavior to observe from the outside. We all have our go to behavior, we all see life or better yet colors very differently.
My Blue, might be your light blue or someone else’s Deep blue....
Perception is the key. And whatever makes you feel better about your situation is totally up to you.
:) Life has/and will always be interesting. Because “we” make it so.....
Signed “WE” The damaged , flawed, incredibly interesting people..
Wow... still trying to figure out why it posts my name like that ....
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