YOT 65 - Exes are not always terrible but better as exes

How many of you have an ex?  Oh, probably 99% of us have an ex of some sort.  Maybe it was a short-lived romance that just burned out, maybe it was a full-on love affair that ended in the most devastating way, perhaps it was an awful, terrifying experience that scared the hell out of you so you got out, or it is possible that you thought it was the one true thing but got your heart torn to a million pieces when they left you.

At the time it happens, no matter the way it happens, it is (almost always) a dark, horrible time.  Breaking up is not easy even when it is the absolute right thing to do.  It means starting over, leaving the comfort of knowing what will happen.  That can be a comfort even if what happens is terrifying; sometimes the not knowing can be scarier.  

Once it is over though, I mean after it is ALL over and you have moved on, whether that has been a month, a year, or a decade, do you think back on it?  Do you ever think about what you learned?  You did not spend that time with someone else, didn't let yourself open up to someone, didn't completely give in to someone just to have nothing to show for it in the end.  You should never come out of any relationship without being smarter than you were at the start of it.  You may not realize it, but I would be willing to bet you learned SOMETHING.  

I have learned something, little or big, from everyone I have dated.  The people I dated were obviously not the right choice for me but everyone has something to teach.  I have learned so many things!  I have learned what a cotter pins and castle nuts are, how to install windows, I have become damn good at taping up drywall and I know installing cabinets is a horrible job to do.  I have learned that mac and cheese is better than french fries to go alongside my hamburger,  how to shoot guns and I am not half bad at shooting clay targets.  

Most importantly, I have learned how to be a better companion in a relationship.  I have learned what works and does not work universally.  Certain things work with certain people yes, but everyone wants some basic things and I have learned more about how to focus more on those and what specific things each unique person needs.  I have learned that it is a relationship and not all about me and what I want or need out of it.  I have learned how to compromise, be more patient, sacrifice, give in, and, when absolutely necessary, shut the hell up and accept defeat (no, that is not often but still...).  

I am very thankful for the opportunity to learn from my past and my exes; thankful for realizing that just because it didn't work doesn't mean it was a waste of time.