Wedding

Have you ever wanted something to be over so much and then, when it finally is, you hate the end and regret wishing it to go by too fast? That was this weekend for me.

Don't get me wrong, being asked by someone to marry them, to officiate their wedding, is an amazing, brilliant, probably once in a lifetime honor. I was beyond shocked when they asked me to do it and so terrified right away.  No, seriously, since last June, I have been terrified for March 15th to come. There was NO way in hell I would ever say "no" to this for Mindy and Bo. None. The answer was an absolutely "YES" from the first second (maybe it was because they were buying me sushi. Don't judge me, it was incredible sushi). There were no second thoughts, but I was scared. This is a HUGE deal! Really, it is. This is a moment they will remember for the rest of their lives. If it goes awry, it would be a cringe-worthy memory instead of the thrilling one they are hoping for having. You may have noticed, but I am not the most confident crayon in the box. I was willing to do it, excited even, but completely confident only in that I would screw it up. The couple, on the other hand, was more than optimistic about the outcome of their day. I thought they were maniacal.

It was June when they asked. I know this because that is when I applied to be ordained through Universal Life Church Monasteries. I came home and applied that night. See? I was excited.  I began thinking up my role that night. I got nowhere until the week of the wedding. However, from the comments I received at the wedding, I kicked ass. Never have I had so many random people I have never met come take my hand in theirs and hold it while telling me what an amazing job I had done. It was awkward and fabulous. This and the guy who, in the middle of the ceremony, randomly shouted out, "Best. Wedding. Ever!" I don't know who you are but I love you.

The absolute, without a doubt best part of this wedding though has to be the new friendships that were formed. Over the years, I have been in several weddings but I have never in my bridesmaid career met such an incredible, perfectly fitted, hilarious group of people. This feeling hit me the instant Jesiree walked into the airport and greeted me with the type of hug one gives a long lost friend. It was our first meeting. This was the feeling with everyone I met after that. Just about every one of us in the wedding cast just clicked. It was as if Bo and Mindy chose us so carefully to ensure this happened. When, in actuality, it was simply that those two just draw friends that happen to be some of the most wicked awesome people in the world. We all talked and laughed and even got tattoos together all while spending time together in a hotel room the night before the wedding. (Did we promise to not ever admit they were Dollar Tree glittery girly tattoos? I can't remember).

There are always people you meet that make you want to say "we should get together sometime" but in this case, I am so extremely hopeful that we make that happen. I have stalked them all on Facebook so that I don't lose them. In fact, since the wedding, I have been privileged to be part of conversations taking place in photo comments resulting in hilarious rantings and more comments a photo should ever have. Honestly, I feel that many of these friendships will be lifelong. Great Scott, I hope so.

Mindy and Bo also have this exceptionally fabulous framily circle. Yup, framily. If you are IN with Bo, Mindy or their parents then you are family. They honestly do not seem to have typical friends. This wedding felt like it was 225 members of their family. So, framily it is. I love them...all of them! They are all so sweet, caring, and intensely loving.

As promised, here is a basic transcript of the ceremony. It was changed a bit here and there and there was a bit of ad lib work happening but this is the gist of it all.

Above all, I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to do this for such fantastic people. I love Bo and Mindy so much, as does everyone else that meets them. This, to me, was a once in a lifetime chance even though my husband smiled and said to me at the end of the wedding, "I don't think this will be your last wedding gig".
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There is no greater feeling than that of being loved. I believe I can speak for Mindy and Bo when I say, they can feel it right now. There are so many people that have come from so many places to be here. Along with their parents and families, Mindy and Bo would like to not only thank everyone for being here and sharing in the rhapsody of today but for being a part of their past, present and future. 

Allons-Y! 

The first impressions these two gave me years ago could not have been more opposite. It was a perfect, sunny day at Marsha Neal's wedding reception when Chris introduced me to Mindy and her amazing mom, Noel. We talked, laughed, drank and got along like we had always been friends. The moment she walked away, I turned to Chris and said, "I love her. We will be friends. Make it so." Mindy, in a world of ordinary mortals, you are a Wonder Woman.”

Bo, on the other hand was a tad more shaky. It was a late night at Brandon Gunnip's poker party. Alicia and I were standing alone talking in the kitchen when a dark-haired stranger walked in, stopped in front of us and just shrugged his shoulders with this look on his face as it to say "You are girls. Why are you here and what have you done with the men?". Alicia, the smarter of the two of us apparently, immediately directed him to the garage where we had stashed the men. My judgmental self, on the other hand, complained to Chris on the ride home about this rude guy that just came in without as much as a "hello". The shock and very defensive almost hurt tone in Chris' voice when he said "Are you talking about Bo? He was rude? He is never rude. He's just shy." should have told me I was completely wrong. I quickly learned that I could not have been more mistaken about Bo.

A few years later, in the same Gunnip kitchen at a different poker party, Alicia and I were having an argument about which of us had the bigger crush on Bo. It went on for a few drinks until we both realized that we were actually married and neither of us could technically have Bo. So a challenge was presented. Which of us could get our bonus sisters together with Bo first? Alicia would have Amanda to work with and I had Heather. The race was on. This battle raged for months and it was relentless! Apparently, though, neither of us had, in fact, told our bonus sisters or Bo about our plan but the race continued anyway. It came to an abrupt end in the arena of all epic battles, Facebook. I saw Bo and Mindy were in a relationship. My first thought was not of the challenge being lost but was that of "Oh, damn, that makes perfect sense. Why didn't I think of that?"

I knew, right there sitting in front of that Facebook page that this was it for them. These two together was just the perfect pairing. Everyone I talked to about it said the same thing. It just made sense. We all have genuinely enjoyed watching Mindy and Bo becoming who they are today, falling in love, and getting to this point. 

Since he was not allowed to wear a flower girl dress, John Waltrip has been invited to grace us with a reading. *Reading by John Waltrip*

Much to the excitement and anticipation of many of us and the fear instilled in Bo, Mindy and Bo have written their own vows. *Vows and Rings*

Typically, I would ask Mindy and Bo a bunch of boring questions to which they will agree without even paying any attention. Today, however, we are switching it up. Today, they better pay attention because their parents are asking the questions. Bo's parents, Jan and Louie have prepared their own personal questions to ask Mindy while Mindy's parents, Noel and Tom (as long as Tom finished his homework) have their own to ask Bo. *Do You Questions*

Mindy and Bo not only do things for us, that make us want to do things for them. Sometimes we brave the cold and rain to go to a hockey themed bachelorette party. Sometimes the make us do girly things, sometimes they just inspire us to be better people. These two crazy kids are everything we want in friends. They are giving, caring, intelligent and so very funny. Unless Elijah Wood walks through the door, I don't think we need to ask if anyone can think of a reason these two should not be married. Instead, I am going to ask if anyone has any reason they SHOULD be. *guests speak*

Every single one of us in this room is here because Bo, Mindy, or, most likely, both, love each of us. WE are the most important people in their lives. I once heard a friend say that the way to determine a wedding invitation list was to make sure everyone on it was someone you would take and treat to dinner. This room, however is filled with people Bo and Mindy would not only buy dinner, but for whom they would do so much more. I can guarantee that everyone in this room can name at least one time either of these two did something exceptional for them or, just took them to dinner.  Now it's our turn to pay them back and show our love for them. They have included us in their wedding not only as guests of the ceremony but as a part of their married lives. This is not a free ride though, it is a duty as their friends, as their family. Do you know the person sitting next to you? Maybe, maybe not, maybe you do but don't want to, either way, we are all connected. We are all part of this new family. It is our duty to help in this marriage, to support, encourage, and love them. It is our duty to be there for them for the ups and the downs. When they have a fight, we need to remind them of this day and why and how they got here. We also need to be strong and brave enough to let Mindy know that maybe this month food is more important than the $500 pair of shoes she found on sale. Maybe.

Mindy and Bo, you are loved more than you could ever know and you are not in this alone. Each of us is here to help and guide you. SO SAY WE ALL.

Would you like to update your Facebook statuses? *update Facebook*

I would love to now declare you husband and wife - Mr. and Mrs. Bo Nash. 

Kiss her!

Why I am was breaking up with Facebook

For quite some time now, I have been debating leaving the socially awkward world of Facebook and have very recently decided it is coming to the time it actually happen.  For me, logging into Facebook has become like going to the lame party you really don't enjoy but are obligated to go because all your friends are going.  So, you go and you just wander like a zombie though the maze of people, making small talk with a few, creepily staring at others while wondering why anyone even invited them in the first place and trying to get the attention of the core group of friends you have while they are distracted with a hundred other people and games and memes.

Here are my reasons for leaving the party all by myself.  These will be in order of counting down to the most influential and important reason. 

5.  Facebook has gotten ridiculous with ads

     Seriously, between the right quarter of my page covered in unnecessary and repetitive ad for items and services I don't need.  I do not want to be an ultrasound tech nor have I ever looked into being one.  I want to do that as much as I want to play Candy Crush Saga, which seems to be an ad CONSTANTLY on my screen.  Do they honestly think I haven't seen it enough having been bombarded by all of these requests my friends send to me?  Not only are they on the side of my screen, but they also are brought into my timeline feed in between friend posts.  I hide a lot of them but there are always others.  it is like the sand at the beach when you get home; just when you think you got it all out of your crevices, you feel more ten minutes later.  Facebook ads are the sand in my crevices.  

4.  It has gotten dull and the grammar sucks.  My grammar is not perfect by any means.  My biggest issue is grown people speaking like a teenager in 2005.  There is more than one person that, when they post, I literally do not know what they are saying.  Each time I read it I wonder if I have actually had a stroke and my brain just is not functioning the way it should.  After the fourth or fifth time reading and not getting it I finally give up and move on to literate people that have something to actually say.  That in itself is getting tougher to come by though.  Not every post needs to be a scream it from the top of the mountain so everyone can hear it thing but really, I, wait, NO ONE, cares about your mundane day-to-day tasks.  People commonly say to "leave that for Twitter" but I honestly don't think they care over there either.  There are those Facebookers that post the same things over and over.  There is nothing more substantial in your like than being on another flight. You travel for your job.  Woo freaking hoo.  That is like me posting every time I work up a cost projection for my client moving a person to France - again.  Would anyone care about that? Nope.  That's why I don't do it.  If that is the case and there is nothing else going on for you, I think you should get off Facebook and make new friends.   Had triplets?  Hell yeah, post that!

3. It shows us how our friends can be when they are uncensored.  Facebook is many things to many people.  Some of use use it as a way to stay in touch with others, some use it as their news source, some are just nosy / curious about everyone else, and there are those that use it as an outlet.  We all have opinions, we all need to find a way to get those out.  Some people keep them hidden.  Until they get their hands on a keyboard and a Facebook account.  It is these secret people that shock me.  By secret, I am talking about those people that are one way in person and a completely different person on Facebook.  They use it as their podium, their safety net to post what they want to say without fear of what others will think.  It makes them strong.  It sometimes makes them assholes too.  Do we all have that friend we love to see in person but hate to read on Facebook?  I sure do.  I wish I have never befriended some of those people on Facebook because I sure like them better in person.

2.  Even with all of the above complaints, it is still addictive.  I admit, I like to be cynical and bitch about other people.  It is fun and I am good at it.  I'm not alone in this, right Alicia!?! *waiting for my high five that may never come*.  So, yes, I find myself checking it all the time.  On work breaks, off work breaks, at lunch, at home, before bed.  All the time. Because - there is no reason.  I hate how much time it takes away from other things like Larsipan and StumbleUpon.

1.  It gets mixed up with real life.
One day a friend asked me if I had spoken to another of our friends recently.  "Yes, of course, I spoke to her the other day" was my response.  After this I realized,  I really hadn't spoken to her...all we did was comment to each other on Facebook about her status.  We had not had an actual conversation in weeks.  I believe Facebook is an excellent way to keep in touch with far away friends or even to make new friends through others.  However, it is also a way to avoid actually seeing people that live near you.  It gives a false sense of closeness.  We take for granted that we "talk" to these people every day or "see" what they are doing in their lives but we really are looking at it as an outsider; almost like a stalker.  It seems to be hurting my friendships.

************Update:  I am not, in case you have not noticed, leaving Facebook.   Here is why:

It is not Facebook's fault that all of this bothers me. It is not Facebook's fault that some of my friends speak like a 14 year-old or that others lead extremely boring lives or even that I turned into a stalker that does not see my friends often enough.  It is all my fault.  Well, not my fault for the first two but my fault for 1) letting it bother me and 2) being friends with people I don't want to hear about.  SO - I deleted those teenage-talking dweebs and the ones that are extremely boring.  I also am going to make it a point to see my friends more in real life.

Having so many friends far away and meeting new people through amazing friends on Facebook are what keeps me here.  So,  I just need to change what I don't like and quit bitching about it.  Nah, I will still bitch...I will just enjoy it more.

There are so many GOOD things about Facebook that got hidden by the bad.  The bad is and always will be there but I need to focus on the other not-bad things.  The great things people do post, the amazing things people have to say about each other, the fun events that I get invited to.  It all needs to keep going and I want to be there for it.  Facebook is teaching me to refocus my attention on the positive and reorganize my friends into real ones vs. fake Facebook friends.  I don't have any of those any longer.   My friend list consists of those people that I would have over to my house for dinner.  This is something I just need to make happen MORE.  

YOT 61 - Best friends are hard to come by

Last night I was at Cassidy's house hanging out a bit.  Evan had two friends over for a sleepover, everyone else went out to a friend's house to play (including my clan).  The chaos of three 7 & 8 year old boys is deafening and completely absurd.  I can't wait for Laripan to have this fun!  First thing's first - a fort had to be made.  At first, I asked why WE were building it and not the boys.  For one thing, if it were my sleepover when I was young, I would never have given someone else that honor of building my fort; that would have been too much fun to pass up.  Secondly, it's their damn fort - they should do it themselves.  It's not like they are three and can't do it.  But, as we went on building (because I just got laughed at and probably got the eye roll look behind my back from Cassidy), I realized that I was glad we built it.  It was fun and I don't think we adults get to have that as often as we should.  We also decided that we will be having a sleepover and will be building a fort for ourselves.

While building and creating this masterpiece, the boys were in their room giggling and being loud and having so much fun.  I said, "Don't you miss that?   That 'best friend' fun feeling?".  She said that she did miss that as well.

After the fort was done, we went out to the kitchen, opened the wine (ok, I was the one that raided the fridge and got the wine for myself) and started making pizzas.  The boys came out and told us what they wanted before retreated back to the "YouTube" watching lair. Pizza making was fun! Cassidy made the boys their pepperoni pizza but saved one slice to be just cheese - making it look like Pac-Man.  Yup - we are dorks and took a picture of it.  While the pizza cooks, we drank wine and talked and laughed then fed the insane maniacs in the other room and ate our pizzas - while still drinking wine.

Cotton candy was next.  We broke out the machine and whipped up a few batches of different flavors for the boys (and a little for us).  We even, accidentally made it snow glittery white shards of cotton candy in her kitchen - oh the joys!  Sorry Mopey Marsh...I know it was bittersweet for you.

More wine.

"Wicked Tuna" came on the TV.  By the way, you HAVE to say that with an Australian accent, apparently.  No, it is not an Australian show, just an Australian title.  It is actually a Massachusetts show so they do talk funny too.  So, anyway, standing about two feet away from the TV,  we made fun of the guys on there, planned our new careers as fisherwomen in bikinis (when we saw them get almost $4,000 for a single fish), cancelled that plan since I don't want to kill the fish, and decided to watch "The Hobbit" instead.  Of course, we decided we should sit down for that but the couch was too far away (oh, our first world problems are seriously adding up at this point, eh?) so that had to be moved.

We plopped down on the couch, grabbed a piece of cheesecake to split, finished the wine, and settled in for the show.

While we were sitting there watching and talking a little, I realized something.  We should not be missing that "best friend" fun feeling.  We have it.  Right now.  All night, we were the ones doing all the fun stuff; we built the fort, we made the pizzas, we laughed at the cotton candy snow.  We were laughing as much as, if not more than, the boys.  We were the ones giggling with the inappropriate jokes we made that the boys totally would not get...yet.

Only now, instead of when we were that age, it is even better; we get to do all of that with wine.

Today, I am very thankful to have a best friend again, especially one like Cassidy.

What kind of friend are you anyway?

I started a project on Facebook.  We need to make that site worthwhile now, right?  I started this project with one thing in mind and the outcome was a lot different than expected.

I decided that there are many "friends" on my Facebook friends list that I never talk to and either never see or care about their posts.  My plan was then to look at it as some people do their wedding invitations.  A fabulous idea I heard about who to invite to your wedding was this; if you would not invite them out to dinner and pay for them, then why invite them to your wedding?  This is the basics behind my new project.  I would go through my friends list and try to write something nice about that person.  If I could not come up with more than a line or two, then why do I have them as a "friend"?  Are they really a friend if I cant come up with something to say about them?  Nope, most likely not. 

I began doing this yesterday morning.  I went alphabetical.  Alicia Gunnip was my first.  Before I even got to Angy Pipes I realized what this was doing.   It made me seriously evaluate my relationships and each person I consider a friend.  It make me think about their good qualities as well as makes me realize WHY I am friends with these people and if I should remain so.  So far, all is well and I have nothing bu praise for my friends; I am only done through Becky Weber though.  I can foresee a few issues ahead;  I predict a few friend deletions.  It is very satisfying feeling to remember why I because friends with these people and why I choose to keep them friends.

There are those very few that I keep out of obligation though, I will delicately word my wall postings for these rarities and move on to the next.  They will never know they remain in my list for this reason alone. 
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