Wedding

Have you ever wanted something to be over so much and then, when it finally is, you hate the end and regret wishing it to go by too fast? That was this weekend for me.

Don't get me wrong, being asked by someone to marry them, to officiate their wedding, is an amazing, brilliant, probably once in a lifetime honor. I was beyond shocked when they asked me to do it and so terrified right away.  No, seriously, since last June, I have been terrified for March 15th to come. There was NO way in hell I would ever say "no" to this for Mindy and Bo. None. The answer was an absolutely "YES" from the first second (maybe it was because they were buying me sushi. Don't judge me, it was incredible sushi). There were no second thoughts, but I was scared. This is a HUGE deal! Really, it is. This is a moment they will remember for the rest of their lives. If it goes awry, it would be a cringe-worthy memory instead of the thrilling one they are hoping for having. You may have noticed, but I am not the most confident crayon in the box. I was willing to do it, excited even, but completely confident only in that I would screw it up. The couple, on the other hand, was more than optimistic about the outcome of their day. I thought they were maniacal.

It was June when they asked. I know this because that is when I applied to be ordained through Universal Life Church Monasteries. I came home and applied that night. See? I was excited.  I began thinking up my role that night. I got nowhere until the week of the wedding. However, from the comments I received at the wedding, I kicked ass. Never have I had so many random people I have never met come take my hand in theirs and hold it while telling me what an amazing job I had done. It was awkward and fabulous. This and the guy who, in the middle of the ceremony, randomly shouted out, "Best. Wedding. Ever!" I don't know who you are but I love you.

The absolute, without a doubt best part of this wedding though has to be the new friendships that were formed. Over the years, I have been in several weddings but I have never in my bridesmaid career met such an incredible, perfectly fitted, hilarious group of people. This feeling hit me the instant Jesiree walked into the airport and greeted me with the type of hug one gives a long lost friend. It was our first meeting. This was the feeling with everyone I met after that. Just about every one of us in the wedding cast just clicked. It was as if Bo and Mindy chose us so carefully to ensure this happened. When, in actuality, it was simply that those two just draw friends that happen to be some of the most wicked awesome people in the world. We all talked and laughed and even got tattoos together all while spending time together in a hotel room the night before the wedding. (Did we promise to not ever admit they were Dollar Tree glittery girly tattoos? I can't remember).

There are always people you meet that make you want to say "we should get together sometime" but in this case, I am so extremely hopeful that we make that happen. I have stalked them all on Facebook so that I don't lose them. In fact, since the wedding, I have been privileged to be part of conversations taking place in photo comments resulting in hilarious rantings and more comments a photo should ever have. Honestly, I feel that many of these friendships will be lifelong. Great Scott, I hope so.

Mindy and Bo also have this exceptionally fabulous framily circle. Yup, framily. If you are IN with Bo, Mindy or their parents then you are family. They honestly do not seem to have typical friends. This wedding felt like it was 225 members of their family. So, framily it is. I love them...all of them! They are all so sweet, caring, and intensely loving.

As promised, here is a basic transcript of the ceremony. It was changed a bit here and there and there was a bit of ad lib work happening but this is the gist of it all.

Above all, I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to do this for such fantastic people. I love Bo and Mindy so much, as does everyone else that meets them. This, to me, was a once in a lifetime chance even though my husband smiled and said to me at the end of the wedding, "I don't think this will be your last wedding gig".
_________________________________________________________________________________
There is no greater feeling than that of being loved. I believe I can speak for Mindy and Bo when I say, they can feel it right now. There are so many people that have come from so many places to be here. Along with their parents and families, Mindy and Bo would like to not only thank everyone for being here and sharing in the rhapsody of today but for being a part of their past, present and future. 

Allons-Y! 

The first impressions these two gave me years ago could not have been more opposite. It was a perfect, sunny day at Marsha Neal's wedding reception when Chris introduced me to Mindy and her amazing mom, Noel. We talked, laughed, drank and got along like we had always been friends. The moment she walked away, I turned to Chris and said, "I love her. We will be friends. Make it so." Mindy, in a world of ordinary mortals, you are a Wonder Woman.”

Bo, on the other hand was a tad more shaky. It was a late night at Brandon Gunnip's poker party. Alicia and I were standing alone talking in the kitchen when a dark-haired stranger walked in, stopped in front of us and just shrugged his shoulders with this look on his face as it to say "You are girls. Why are you here and what have you done with the men?". Alicia, the smarter of the two of us apparently, immediately directed him to the garage where we had stashed the men. My judgmental self, on the other hand, complained to Chris on the ride home about this rude guy that just came in without as much as a "hello". The shock and very defensive almost hurt tone in Chris' voice when he said "Are you talking about Bo? He was rude? He is never rude. He's just shy." should have told me I was completely wrong. I quickly learned that I could not have been more mistaken about Bo.

A few years later, in the same Gunnip kitchen at a different poker party, Alicia and I were having an argument about which of us had the bigger crush on Bo. It went on for a few drinks until we both realized that we were actually married and neither of us could technically have Bo. So a challenge was presented. Which of us could get our bonus sisters together with Bo first? Alicia would have Amanda to work with and I had Heather. The race was on. This battle raged for months and it was relentless! Apparently, though, neither of us had, in fact, told our bonus sisters or Bo about our plan but the race continued anyway. It came to an abrupt end in the arena of all epic battles, Facebook. I saw Bo and Mindy were in a relationship. My first thought was not of the challenge being lost but was that of "Oh, damn, that makes perfect sense. Why didn't I think of that?"

I knew, right there sitting in front of that Facebook page that this was it for them. These two together was just the perfect pairing. Everyone I talked to about it said the same thing. It just made sense. We all have genuinely enjoyed watching Mindy and Bo becoming who they are today, falling in love, and getting to this point. 

Since he was not allowed to wear a flower girl dress, John Waltrip has been invited to grace us with a reading. *Reading by John Waltrip*

Much to the excitement and anticipation of many of us and the fear instilled in Bo, Mindy and Bo have written their own vows. *Vows and Rings*

Typically, I would ask Mindy and Bo a bunch of boring questions to which they will agree without even paying any attention. Today, however, we are switching it up. Today, they better pay attention because their parents are asking the questions. Bo's parents, Jan and Louie have prepared their own personal questions to ask Mindy while Mindy's parents, Noel and Tom (as long as Tom finished his homework) have their own to ask Bo. *Do You Questions*

Mindy and Bo not only do things for us, that make us want to do things for them. Sometimes we brave the cold and rain to go to a hockey themed bachelorette party. Sometimes the make us do girly things, sometimes they just inspire us to be better people. These two crazy kids are everything we want in friends. They are giving, caring, intelligent and so very funny. Unless Elijah Wood walks through the door, I don't think we need to ask if anyone can think of a reason these two should not be married. Instead, I am going to ask if anyone has any reason they SHOULD be. *guests speak*

Every single one of us in this room is here because Bo, Mindy, or, most likely, both, love each of us. WE are the most important people in their lives. I once heard a friend say that the way to determine a wedding invitation list was to make sure everyone on it was someone you would take and treat to dinner. This room, however is filled with people Bo and Mindy would not only buy dinner, but for whom they would do so much more. I can guarantee that everyone in this room can name at least one time either of these two did something exceptional for them or, just took them to dinner.  Now it's our turn to pay them back and show our love for them. They have included us in their wedding not only as guests of the ceremony but as a part of their married lives. This is not a free ride though, it is a duty as their friends, as their family. Do you know the person sitting next to you? Maybe, maybe not, maybe you do but don't want to, either way, we are all connected. We are all part of this new family. It is our duty to help in this marriage, to support, encourage, and love them. It is our duty to be there for them for the ups and the downs. When they have a fight, we need to remind them of this day and why and how they got here. We also need to be strong and brave enough to let Mindy know that maybe this month food is more important than the $500 pair of shoes she found on sale. Maybe.

Mindy and Bo, you are loved more than you could ever know and you are not in this alone. Each of us is here to help and guide you. SO SAY WE ALL.

Would you like to update your Facebook statuses? *update Facebook*

I would love to now declare you husband and wife - Mr. and Mrs. Bo Nash. 

Kiss her!

Hate never begets love

Along with so many other of my friends, we are disappointed that there is actually a Facebook page dedicated to the killing of George Zimmerman.  Why Facebook allows this page to exist is beyond me.  To be honest, I feel I may be done with Facebook because of this.  On to Google+ I say!  Before I leave I had some final words to the inconsiderate murderer-wanna-be that started this "Kill George Zimmerman" page.  This is what I posted on his page:

Although I 100% agree our judicial system failed us (as a general societal "us), what kind of world do you want to live in where we socially, globally, and so adamantly condone and encourage killing?  Whether it is in revenge or simply because you disagree in how this was handled, it does not make it right to perpetuate the killing of a man.
I also disagree that this was a race case in the eyes of the jury.  This was a case of a horrible prosecution team vs. a better defense team than this guy deserved.  Same attorneys and same jury - I feel this would have ended with the guy walking away no matter his race and it would be as much of a disappointment and catastrophe as it is today.  What happened was arguably preventable, wrong, and so terribly handled by everyone involved.  But at the same time, to propose killing this man is absurd.  Nothing will change except for the loss it will be on his family.  You obviously will not care about that, but most of us do.  An eye for an eye does not make a better world.  Killing him will not change the world or even make others not want to kill.
You want changes?  We all want that - we all NEED that.   Love and coming together in support is what will change the world.  We need more of that.   

Many of us have reported this to Facebook because, really, what else can we do?  All of us have heard from Facebook with the response of:

Thank you for taking the time to report something that you feel may violate our Community Standards. Reports like yours are an important part of making Facebook a safe and welcoming environment. We reviewed the page you reported for containing credible threat of violence and found it doesn't violate our community standard on credible threat of violence.

This was my feedback to Facebook:

How can you support someone when your terms CLEARLY state that you prohibit promoting or celebrating any actions if they could result in harm to others?  While there is probably doubt that someone will kill George Zimmerman because of this Facebook post, it is promoting the killing of this man.  What does your term "credibly" mean?  I don't understand why this is acceptable to you.  Does George Zimmerman have to report it as harassment? Why can't we, as the public, report this on his behalf and save the trouble?  Your terms state that you: "take action on all reports of abusive behavior directed at private individuals".  This fits the harassment terms as well as the violence terms that state:
"You may not credibly threaten others, or organize acts of real-world violence. Organizations with a record of terrorist or violent criminal activity are not allowed to maintain a presence on our site. We also prohibit promoting, planning or celebrating any of your actions if they have, or could, result in financial harm to others, including theft and vandalism." 

How can someone rant about racism and wrong-doing yet turn around and start a page promoting the killing of another man?  The only good thing about this is that 90% - if not more - of the comments on that page are opposed to it.  The page only has a few hundred followers right now so there is still hope in the people of the world.  Facebook is really pissing me off though.

YOT 72 - SMG being the good guy

Last week, as you may, or may not have any idea, I wrong a letter to Studio Movie Grill in Spring Valley about some of the compliments and complaints I had with my first ever visit there.
Didn't read it but want to?  Forgot all about it?  Here it is: Original Letter to SMG Spring Valley

Well, I have to admit, that the Assistant General Manager, Tim Pittman, seems to be a great guy that cares about his theater.  Here is his response:

I appreciate that you took the time to give us feedback on your experience.  I apologize, however, that it did not measure up to the standards that Studio Movie Grill has been known for.

We pride ourselves in delivering a great experience with quality food, excellent service, a clean store and a friendly smiling staff.  I see from your email that we did not provide that for you. The management staff is currently reviewing how to have the bathrooms continuously clean even during high volume time periods.  We currently have a staff member assigned to check every 15 minutes however I believe we may need to simply place someone in there always.  I am embarrassed that staff members were not more helpful to you and more pleasant. 

In regards the tables, these are almost exactly the same tables that are in the VIP rows of certain theaters in Arlington location.  The only difference is that placement of the light box.  I prefer the ones at Arlington also.  We are currently looking at newer table designs to better accommodate our guests here at Spring Valley.  I apologize that they caused such a difficult time for you and your family.

Please give us another chance to show you the true SMG experience.

He also is giving me four free tickets to use to give him another chance.  You bet I will do that, Tim!

So many times, we (you, me, everyone) mentions concerns or issues with management and they really just don't care.  I mean, many times they OBVIOUSLY don't care.  Other times you just get that vibe and expect nothing to change.  But, sometimes you get those people that seem to love their job, love their customers, and honestly want to be proud of their business and want you happy.  Tim Pittman is one of those guys and I believe Studio Movie Grill is one of those places.  

I am thankful when someone, especially a  business owner / representative, cares enough to acknowledge an issue, apologize, and think about ways to correct them.  Even without the ticket offer, this would have been an excellent email that made me want to visit again.  There were many good things about this place and none of the bad things ruined my night with Omega - all of which I mentioned in my email to him.

Tim, I will not say no to your ticket offer!  Please know that while it was absolutely not necessary  it is very much appreciated but not as much as your amazing attitude and response.  Thank you!

YOT 66 - My one and only but not my only one

To piggyback on my YOT number 65, I bring you number 66.

Every time I meet someone that is still with their first and only love, I am amazed.  I am amazed, confused, awed, and concerned.

 I mean I hate to buy a mattress because it is a 10 year commitment.  As someone that likes to weigh my options with everything, it is dumbfounding to me that people go on their first date EVER and never date anyone else again.  Saying I like to weigh my options is not to say that I am not spontaneous or I take my time with decisions. Oh, quite the contrary.  I tend to jump into things quickly and make many snap decisions.  However, once I make a choice, I IMMEDIATELY want to know what the other option is like.  I am this way with everything from the brand of toothpaste I use to the genre of movies I see.  While my favorite toothpaste may be Crest, I am absolutely not going to just stick with that for the rest of my life without seeing what the other guys have to offer.  What if Aquafresh is better than it looks?  I mean, look at those stripes, those colors; Crest cannot think I don't look at others, right?

Now though, after having tried Aquafresh, I am sure that it is not the right one for me.  I know I like the way it looks but the way it just is not the same as Crest.  Colgate, though, Colgate is pretty close but still not just right.

See where I am going with this?  I don't know how you can know what is right for YOU if you don't know what is wrong.

So, I am thankful that I have exes.  I am thankful that all those guys thought I was right for them at the time even if I wasn't - yet another lesson learned:  It is not just that others are wrong for me, but I am also wrong for others.  I am thankful that by going through all of the things that were wrong for me, I found the one that has everything right.

YOT 65 - Exes are not always terrible but better as exes

How many of you have an ex?  Oh, probably 99% of us have an ex of some sort.  Maybe it was a short-lived romance that just burned out, maybe it was a full-on love affair that ended in the most devastating way, perhaps it was an awful, terrifying experience that scared the hell out of you so you got out, or it is possible that you thought it was the one true thing but got your heart torn to a million pieces when they left you.

At the time it happens, no matter the way it happens, it is (almost always) a dark, horrible time.  Breaking up is not easy even when it is the absolute right thing to do.  It means starting over, leaving the comfort of knowing what will happen.  That can be a comfort even if what happens is terrifying; sometimes the not knowing can be scarier.  

Once it is over though, I mean after it is ALL over and you have moved on, whether that has been a month, a year, or a decade, do you think back on it?  Do you ever think about what you learned?  You did not spend that time with someone else, didn't let yourself open up to someone, didn't completely give in to someone just to have nothing to show for it in the end.  You should never come out of any relationship without being smarter than you were at the start of it.  You may not realize it, but I would be willing to bet you learned SOMETHING.  

I have learned something, little or big, from everyone I have dated.  The people I dated were obviously not the right choice for me but everyone has something to teach.  I have learned so many things!  I have learned what a cotter pins and castle nuts are, how to install windows, I have become damn good at taping up drywall and I know installing cabinets is a horrible job to do.  I have learned that mac and cheese is better than french fries to go alongside my hamburger,  how to shoot guns and I am not half bad at shooting clay targets.  

Most importantly, I have learned how to be a better companion in a relationship.  I have learned what works and does not work universally.  Certain things work with certain people yes, but everyone wants some basic things and I have learned more about how to focus more on those and what specific things each unique person needs.  I have learned that it is a relationship and not all about me and what I want or need out of it.  I have learned how to compromise, be more patient, sacrifice, give in, and, when absolutely necessary, shut the hell up and accept defeat (no, that is not often but still...).  

I am very thankful for the opportunity to learn from my past and my exes; thankful for realizing that just because it didn't work doesn't mean it was a waste of time.  

Hopeless Rant

Tonight, lying in bed with Lars (again, yes, don't judge), I was so emotional.  He was fighting sleep, as usual, by singing his songs he is practicing for his school recital coming up.  Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.  Laughing at him and crying for Newtown, CT at the same time.  I feel this... something different, new.  It is something other than sadness, depression, sympathy (I feel those too).  It feels like a hole, this emptiness, this "something" that is missing.  It is not innocence, that has been gone a long time.  I am scared it is hope.  I am terrified I have lost hope.  I don't want that.  Hope is critical.  But, it has, at least in part, and temporarily, left me.  I don't know what to expect for Lars' future.

I have not given up.  I will always fight for him no matter what.  I am just scared for what the future holds and how far ahead it goes.  I have never been this scared for the future;  I have always been hopeful for a positive one.  Hopeful that people will get their shit together and stop this.  That hope has gone.

What has come is a great sense of helplessness.  A sense of not being able to keep Lars safe no matter what choices I make.  It is no longer up to us, as parents; it is out of our hands.  I am thankful he is too young to ask if he is safe.  If he asked me tonight, I would burst into tears and not know what to say.  How can I say, "No, baby, we are not safe anywhere.  We always have to be on guard, at the mall, at the movies, at school, in the parking lot.  We can never truly feel safe.".  No, I can't say that, can I?  I have to suck it up and say, "Yes, sweetheart.  You are safe.  This happens so rarely, it was just a bad man that chose to make a horrible bad decision.  YOU, though, you are so safe.  Mommy will not let anything bad happen to you.".  But how can I say that either?  It is not the same as lying about Santa Claus.  The moment he realizes I lied about that will not be as dramatic as the moment I hope never happens; the moment a gunman bursts into his classroom and starts shooting and he wonders where I am.  He would wonder why I am not protecting him like I promised.  I can't bear that thought.

Cassidy says it is temporary, she says, "Hope.  Hope comes and goes.  You may have lost it now but it will come back and it may be there still just hidden under your sadness and fear."  Please be right, Cassidy.  Please.   

No one is unique or alone.

My name is Lisa and I am an addict.  I have been using StumbleUpon for a few years now and my addiction has not subsided.  I blame boredom, extreme curiosity, and my unending search for creativity.  In my stumbling, I have come across several blogs.  The most recent being about Derek K. Miller.  He began his website in 1997; it became penmachine in 2000.  In 2007 he found out he had cancer and was gone in May 2011.  This just struck me tonight for some reason.  It is just so fantastic that you can read through someone's life like this.  Anywhere you go on the internet, at any time, you can run into someone you never knew that is going through the same thing as you.  No, I do not have cancer (as far as I know) but there are people out there that do that will come across Derek's blog.  Reading it may bring peace to them.  It might help them even if just a tiny bit.  Humans love to know they are not alone in bad times.

The only bad part about the internet is that no one is unique.  There are so many people just like you out there.  Sometimes that is annoying and bad but other times it is really alright.  We like to be able to relate to others.  Blogging has made that more possible than ever.  NO ONE is alone in the internet.  There will always and forever be a place you belong.  Sometimes, you just need to stumble upon that place.