Wedding

Have you ever wanted something to be over so much and then, when it finally is, you hate the end and regret wishing it to go by too fast? That was this weekend for me.

Don't get me wrong, being asked by someone to marry them, to officiate their wedding, is an amazing, brilliant, probably once in a lifetime honor. I was beyond shocked when they asked me to do it and so terrified right away.  No, seriously, since last June, I have been terrified for March 15th to come. There was NO way in hell I would ever say "no" to this for Mindy and Bo. None. The answer was an absolutely "YES" from the first second (maybe it was because they were buying me sushi. Don't judge me, it was incredible sushi). There were no second thoughts, but I was scared. This is a HUGE deal! Really, it is. This is a moment they will remember for the rest of their lives. If it goes awry, it would be a cringe-worthy memory instead of the thrilling one they are hoping for having. You may have noticed, but I am not the most confident crayon in the box. I was willing to do it, excited even, but completely confident only in that I would screw it up. The couple, on the other hand, was more than optimistic about the outcome of their day. I thought they were maniacal.

It was June when they asked. I know this because that is when I applied to be ordained through Universal Life Church Monasteries. I came home and applied that night. See? I was excited.  I began thinking up my role that night. I got nowhere until the week of the wedding. However, from the comments I received at the wedding, I kicked ass. Never have I had so many random people I have never met come take my hand in theirs and hold it while telling me what an amazing job I had done. It was awkward and fabulous. This and the guy who, in the middle of the ceremony, randomly shouted out, "Best. Wedding. Ever!" I don't know who you are but I love you.

The absolute, without a doubt best part of this wedding though has to be the new friendships that were formed. Over the years, I have been in several weddings but I have never in my bridesmaid career met such an incredible, perfectly fitted, hilarious group of people. This feeling hit me the instant Jesiree walked into the airport and greeted me with the type of hug one gives a long lost friend. It was our first meeting. This was the feeling with everyone I met after that. Just about every one of us in the wedding cast just clicked. It was as if Bo and Mindy chose us so carefully to ensure this happened. When, in actuality, it was simply that those two just draw friends that happen to be some of the most wicked awesome people in the world. We all talked and laughed and even got tattoos together all while spending time together in a hotel room the night before the wedding. (Did we promise to not ever admit they were Dollar Tree glittery girly tattoos? I can't remember).

There are always people you meet that make you want to say "we should get together sometime" but in this case, I am so extremely hopeful that we make that happen. I have stalked them all on Facebook so that I don't lose them. In fact, since the wedding, I have been privileged to be part of conversations taking place in photo comments resulting in hilarious rantings and more comments a photo should ever have. Honestly, I feel that many of these friendships will be lifelong. Great Scott, I hope so.

Mindy and Bo also have this exceptionally fabulous framily circle. Yup, framily. If you are IN with Bo, Mindy or their parents then you are family. They honestly do not seem to have typical friends. This wedding felt like it was 225 members of their family. So, framily it is. I love them...all of them! They are all so sweet, caring, and intensely loving.

As promised, here is a basic transcript of the ceremony. It was changed a bit here and there and there was a bit of ad lib work happening but this is the gist of it all.

Above all, I am so incredibly thankful for the opportunity to do this for such fantastic people. I love Bo and Mindy so much, as does everyone else that meets them. This, to me, was a once in a lifetime chance even though my husband smiled and said to me at the end of the wedding, "I don't think this will be your last wedding gig".
_________________________________________________________________________________
There is no greater feeling than that of being loved. I believe I can speak for Mindy and Bo when I say, they can feel it right now. There are so many people that have come from so many places to be here. Along with their parents and families, Mindy and Bo would like to not only thank everyone for being here and sharing in the rhapsody of today but for being a part of their past, present and future. 

Allons-Y! 

The first impressions these two gave me years ago could not have been more opposite. It was a perfect, sunny day at Marsha Neal's wedding reception when Chris introduced me to Mindy and her amazing mom, Noel. We talked, laughed, drank and got along like we had always been friends. The moment she walked away, I turned to Chris and said, "I love her. We will be friends. Make it so." Mindy, in a world of ordinary mortals, you are a Wonder Woman.”

Bo, on the other hand was a tad more shaky. It was a late night at Brandon Gunnip's poker party. Alicia and I were standing alone talking in the kitchen when a dark-haired stranger walked in, stopped in front of us and just shrugged his shoulders with this look on his face as it to say "You are girls. Why are you here and what have you done with the men?". Alicia, the smarter of the two of us apparently, immediately directed him to the garage where we had stashed the men. My judgmental self, on the other hand, complained to Chris on the ride home about this rude guy that just came in without as much as a "hello". The shock and very defensive almost hurt tone in Chris' voice when he said "Are you talking about Bo? He was rude? He is never rude. He's just shy." should have told me I was completely wrong. I quickly learned that I could not have been more mistaken about Bo.

A few years later, in the same Gunnip kitchen at a different poker party, Alicia and I were having an argument about which of us had the bigger crush on Bo. It went on for a few drinks until we both realized that we were actually married and neither of us could technically have Bo. So a challenge was presented. Which of us could get our bonus sisters together with Bo first? Alicia would have Amanda to work with and I had Heather. The race was on. This battle raged for months and it was relentless! Apparently, though, neither of us had, in fact, told our bonus sisters or Bo about our plan but the race continued anyway. It came to an abrupt end in the arena of all epic battles, Facebook. I saw Bo and Mindy were in a relationship. My first thought was not of the challenge being lost but was that of "Oh, damn, that makes perfect sense. Why didn't I think of that?"

I knew, right there sitting in front of that Facebook page that this was it for them. These two together was just the perfect pairing. Everyone I talked to about it said the same thing. It just made sense. We all have genuinely enjoyed watching Mindy and Bo becoming who they are today, falling in love, and getting to this point. 

Since he was not allowed to wear a flower girl dress, John Waltrip has been invited to grace us with a reading. *Reading by John Waltrip*

Much to the excitement and anticipation of many of us and the fear instilled in Bo, Mindy and Bo have written their own vows. *Vows and Rings*

Typically, I would ask Mindy and Bo a bunch of boring questions to which they will agree without even paying any attention. Today, however, we are switching it up. Today, they better pay attention because their parents are asking the questions. Bo's parents, Jan and Louie have prepared their own personal questions to ask Mindy while Mindy's parents, Noel and Tom (as long as Tom finished his homework) have their own to ask Bo. *Do You Questions*

Mindy and Bo not only do things for us, that make us want to do things for them. Sometimes we brave the cold and rain to go to a hockey themed bachelorette party. Sometimes the make us do girly things, sometimes they just inspire us to be better people. These two crazy kids are everything we want in friends. They are giving, caring, intelligent and so very funny. Unless Elijah Wood walks through the door, I don't think we need to ask if anyone can think of a reason these two should not be married. Instead, I am going to ask if anyone has any reason they SHOULD be. *guests speak*

Every single one of us in this room is here because Bo, Mindy, or, most likely, both, love each of us. WE are the most important people in their lives. I once heard a friend say that the way to determine a wedding invitation list was to make sure everyone on it was someone you would take and treat to dinner. This room, however is filled with people Bo and Mindy would not only buy dinner, but for whom they would do so much more. I can guarantee that everyone in this room can name at least one time either of these two did something exceptional for them or, just took them to dinner.  Now it's our turn to pay them back and show our love for them. They have included us in their wedding not only as guests of the ceremony but as a part of their married lives. This is not a free ride though, it is a duty as their friends, as their family. Do you know the person sitting next to you? Maybe, maybe not, maybe you do but don't want to, either way, we are all connected. We are all part of this new family. It is our duty to help in this marriage, to support, encourage, and love them. It is our duty to be there for them for the ups and the downs. When they have a fight, we need to remind them of this day and why and how they got here. We also need to be strong and brave enough to let Mindy know that maybe this month food is more important than the $500 pair of shoes she found on sale. Maybe.

Mindy and Bo, you are loved more than you could ever know and you are not in this alone. Each of us is here to help and guide you. SO SAY WE ALL.

Would you like to update your Facebook statuses? *update Facebook*

I would love to now declare you husband and wife - Mr. and Mrs. Bo Nash. 

Kiss her!

A pretty cool observation

The interwebs have a way of jading us in so many ways. So very many ways. It turns us against everything, if we listen to it all.It makes us hate men, corporations, skinny women, moms, social media (well, any media), the government, the internet itself, OURSELVES, and pretty much everyone and everything on the planet. Given enough time on the net, one can find enough cons to hate everything out there. Except cats. Reddit will never let anyone hate cats.

This has been haunting me for just about all of my adult life. Not all, there was a time when I thought I was pretty damn cute and downright sexy (a little bit) too. I mean, it wasn't glaring but the feeling was there. I could at least turn some heads now and then. I felt confident and comfortable riding in a convertible, that's for sure. Later, a long time ago, I started gaining weight and, in turn, losing self-esteem just like everyone else that has weight gain. So much so that I gave up the convertible because I hated being in it. I have a (probably stupid) theory that people in convertibles get more attention on the road. I know they get it from me. You see a girl driving with the top down and you look. Prior to this, I liked that. I would notice the looks and thrive off it; it could be a great ego boost. Afterwards though, the looks I got felt, to my weak mind, like judgment looks. "Why is SHE driving that car?" or "Oh, wow, that's not what I expected her to look like when I pulled up alongside." So, I stopped putting the top down. Then I just gave up the car altogether. I couldn't stand the judgments from others when i was doing enough judging of myself. It has been that way ever since. Not once since then have I wanted to even ride with someone in a convertible. (I told you, I have stupid ideas at times, yes.) The feeling of wanting to hide from everyone and putting myself out there just don't collaborate. \

The web is filled with memes and blogs telling everyone to stop judging others; telling everyone else how judgmental everyone on Earth is. Today, I had a completely unexpected revelation. Lars had a friend's birthday party and so while he was stuffing cake and Cheetos into his face, I was talking with a couple of moms. Well, I sat next to them while they were talking and just nodded as I interrupted them. I tend to invite myself to conversations when I am nervous and being in a big group makes me terrified. Anyway, they were discussing their trials and tribulations with losing weight. One of them saying that she saw herself in a picture and felt she looked so huge. You know in the cartoons when a character is running and they literally skid to a stop? Yeah, that's what my brain did. My first thought was that I completely heard them wrong and they were talking about someone else they saw or know. The one that made the photo comment is stunning and has a figure I would do anything for (except diet and exercise, apparently). It was right then and there that I realized these two moms have always been extremely nice to me and we seem to get along quite well. They have never avoided me because I am the fat mom at the parties or not as pretty as them or even because they are better moms than I am. They never ever made me feel like they felt those things toward me. I always thought they would; my brain always told me all the other moms noticed those things about me. They didn't. Ok, if they DID,the did not let on. In fact, they were feeling bad about themselves.

That realization today is that many people really don't care what I look like. Of course, the guys' heads don't turn anymore but I don't think that is a judgement on their part; it is a simple fact of attractiveness not being there. The thought hit me today that it is possible that some of us that feel judged the most only FEEL we are being judged because of our own self-judgments making us assume everyone is judging us for the same things. Sure, there are people that judge us. There always will be. However, we can't go around assuming everyone is doing so. Just because the internet assumes everyone is judging us doesn't mean they really are. In fact, the internet seems to judge us more than anyone. Go try it. Go in Reddit with a post anything other than a cat and you'll see in five minutes in the comments.

I now have a new goal for losing weight: to feel comfortable in a convertible again. I can do that.

Weight Loss Attempt version 28.5.1: Step 1

Many times I have tried. Many (ok, fine, ALL times) I have failed. This time - well, this time it may not be any better but I am at least going about it a new way so there's that. In defining insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, I also define my method to lose weight. Look at me; doing whatever I have been doing, or ever done, is obviously NOT working for me. Maybe it worked for her or that guy over there but not for me and really, I don't care what that girl did because I am not her.

Starting this time, I am winging it. Yup - no set plan just baby steps with whatever feels right at the time. No schedule. No expectations. No set restrictions for the long term. No diet. I am (understating this) not good with restrictions. Tell me I can't have it and BAM, I want it more than anything. Slowly take it away from me and I might be able to handle it better. Although, no one ever really tries to take anything from me so I don't know how this will go.

Step 1 (and so far, my only step planned)

Water, water everywhere. Only water for me. No tea, no coffee, no soda, no juice, nothing. Water. Sometimes I might add some lime but that's it. The only exception to be made here is alcohol because, what am I, a Mormon? Seriously, no way am I giving that up. I don't drink often enough to make it a problem anyway so blah blah. If I go out, I might drink an adult beverage (or 5) but other than the occasional going out, water only. My plan for this is at least 21 days. Everything will be in a 21 day plan at first. Longer will be better but I am  going with the habit-forming 21 day standard to begin with. After this, we will see how it goes. I expect it will either work for me and I will just be great with only water after the 21 days or I will wonder what drug I was taking that made me think this was a good idea. If this works, I may go for something else like giving up sweets *shudder* or something like that.

This started today and so far has gone great! I forgot once and took a sip of our Soda Stream Diet Grapefruit drink but it was only a sip so sue me. *Fine print: there is no actual legal action necessary at this time please do not sue me as I really have nothing to give you. Life goes on, the water still flows. I have bottles of it all over in my refrigerator and will be taking them with me everywhere I go. If I don't have a bottle with me, please feel free to get me a water - with lime because that makes me feel like I am drinking a margarita from the world's worst or cheapest bartender.

Plans - not resolutions - for 2014

I am not big on resolutions.  One simply cannot make absolute resolutions for an entire year; it is not realistic to me and leaves so much room for failure.   I can, however, make plans.  I intend to do these things but they are not strict, firm decisions.  Things change, things fall apart, plans change.  If you make a resolution and it is not followed through upon, due to any number of reasons, you have failed.  If you make a plan and the situation changes, your plan can change.  Resolutions are too steadfast for me.  My life, and my mind, is ever-changing.  These are not "new year - new me" items,  They are things I have needed to do anyway and writing it down always helps.

I do have many plans for 2014 though! These are in NO order and this probably will not be a complete list.  It may be a long one, feel free to read in shifts. 

1.  I plan on finishing my Year of Thanks.  Yeah, it is a bit late but I am still thankful for things.  Last December really got to me and I put a lot of things off.  This year, though, I am going to get my focus back in line and get things done.  The Year of Thanks is on that list.  I only competed 73 out of 365 so I have a bit of making up to do.

2.  I plan on moving to a new house.  I REALLY want this to happen.  At first, it is up to us and in our hands.  We need to finish painting and getting the house in order to get it listed but the PLAN is to have it on the market in January.  We found an agent we love and are so excited to work with her.  After we list the house though, it is a bit out of our control.  We then just need someone to love our house...all we need is ONE.  Fingers crossed!    Then we need to find a new house.  That's tough too as I can be picky.  I know, right? SHOCKER!! I want a pool, a fireplace, and enough space to have, well, space to play and live but I also want it under a certain price.  We may need to stay in an apartment for a bit until we find the perfect place but that's ok too - at least in an apartment I will have a pool!

3.  I plan on giving order to Lars' artwork.  He has been making art in school since he started daycare and I have done several things with all of it but have never been consistent.  Starting in 2014, I will scan every piece of it (that is not "scribble scrabble" as he calls it) and upload it into a photo book using Snapfish or one of the other photo book making places.  Whichever one has the best deal going on.  My intent is todo this yearly or by class (depending on when he moves classes/grades in school).  He begins a new class in January so that is an idea time to begin!  Going though his older stuff, I will do the same to it although it may not be in the correct order/class but ten years from now, who will know the difference anyway?

4.  I plan on taking one photograph a day.  It may not be of anything special, or even anything specific but I am going to try to take one picture a day to capture our lives, our actions, our emotions, everything.  One day it might be a family photo at LegoLand.  Another it may be a cool statue we saw on a walk down the street.  Who knows!?!  It is exciting! Oh, and at the end of the year, I will make all of these into a photo book as well.  Come on Snapfish - you've got a lot of business coming up - how about a good deal??

5.  I plan on doing Christmas shopping all year long.  If I see something I like for someone, I am going to buy it even if that is in January.  In fact, I created Amazon wish lists for all of my friends and family so that I can keep track of things I think they will like.  Alicia Gunnip and Mindy Smith (although, I named your Nash so I don't have to change it later plus by the time you get any gifts, you will be Nash anyway) already have gift ideas in there.  P.S. I made them all private so no one can see what I have in there.  BAM!  Don't go snooping.  P.P.S  You guys should alk use Amazon Wish Lists more - you can put EVERYTHING on there even if you find it on another site and Amazon doesn't sell it.  I know! That's awesome!  You can have everything you want on the internet in one list so that everyone can see it all.

6.  I plan on eating healthier, walking more, and swimming.  Period.  No weight loss goals.  No promises to exercise four times a week.  No false pretenses that I will eat under 1,500 calories a day. I just plan on eating healthier.  At first, that may simply mean I don't eat cookies for a week.  It is a small step and it means that I will be eating healthier than I would normally...so it's a WIN!  My Fitbit will get more use as well.  I keep forgetting about it when I take it off to charge it.  I don't know when the eating healthier thing will start because as I type this I am seriously craving some chocolate brownies.

7.  I plan on not ever giving up chocolate brownies.

8.  I plan on doing more for others.  Charity!  In fact,  I started a group - we have called ourselves WHO Cares (Women Helping Others). **Update:  There already IS a charity named W.H.O (Women Helping Others) - they took our name so we will be thinking of a new name.  It was either that or "Super Exclusive Charity Club"...exactly.  Our goal for this year is just to do monthly events for charity.  We are not sure what those events will be yet but we know we will do something - for others.  Our big goal is to have a fancypants ball at the end of the year or the start of the next.  If that doesn't happen, at least we will have done a bunch of other things throughout the year.

9.  We are still planning on Haagen 3.0 coming this year!  We had our one-on-one with the case manager over at Jonathan's Place and think it went well.  We are psyched about this and cannot wait!!  Classes start in January.  So, not much to report on until then but we will keep you posted.

10. I plan on more time with friends.  Moving to Arlington this year will help with that but even if that takes longer than expected, we plan on making more time with friends.  Movie and game nights, ice cream nights, drive-ins, LegoLand days, whatever.

11.  I plan on not procrastinating as much.  Far too often, I find myself putting things off in favor of doing something more ...well, lazy usually.  Most of the time, it is something that will only take a few minutes out of my time but I put it off and spend the time between that and actually doing it, worrying about it and thinking, "wow, this would have been easier if I had just done it".  So, maybe I should just do it from now on.

12.  I plan on writing more.  Still, I have no idea what to write but something will come out.  Most likely, most of it will be crap but it is still possible something good will come out of it.  Right?  Man, I hope so.  

Quest for Haagen 3.0 - Step 2: The one-on-one

Today, we met with a case manager for our first one-on-one meeting.  Going in, it was super scary for me.  I was thinking of it as an interview, which, on a small level, it may have been.  As usual though, I apparently over thought the situation and built it up to be a make-it or break-it interview.  On the wya there I knew I would screw it up and answer something in a very stupid way - trying to  be funny but ending up being incredibly stupid - and they would immediately stamp a huge red no symbol on and then shred my application. Well, because people have those stamps, right?  I need one...off to Amazon...

Basically, I was a dork and much ado about nothing.  She explained they like to have these meetings in case there are questions that the potential parents have and they feel uncomfortable asking in front of the crowds at orientation or training.  We had questions, but none that we didn't want to ask in front of anyone - just questions we had thought of during the meeting.  So, really, it was a good meeting!

She did have a few questions for us, for which she seemed to like our answers.  She also said a few times that it is possible to find the right match on the first foster try - so here's hoping!  No, I am not getting ALL my hopes up for this but it is a possibility.  Honestly,  I think it has a lot to do with how much we tell them up front about us and about what we are looking for.  From what she was saying, a lot of people think they want something specific - or think they will be ok with one type of kid - and then they get that and it is not as expected or not what they really wanted.  The case managers make it VERY clear that the parents need to explicitly tell them what they want or don't want.  Otherwise, they will call those parents with EVERY kid that fits the criteria.

We really don't have that much as far as criteria.  Age is the only thing we have.  We want a child that is younger than Lars.   That's about it.   

The next step is January 25th when we take our first class.  It lasts for the full day and then class #2 is the full day on the 26th.  We will be busy and overwhelmed, I am sure.  

Here we go... the search for Haagen 3.0

It has begun.

Our lives are, as they should be, filled with adventure.  We may not ever become the family whose adventures take them around the globe.  Our adventures may not even take us out of the country.  What I can assure you, is that the adventures we take, big or small, will have an impact on us as humans, as friends, and as a family.  Now is the time for a new (scary, exciting, and emotional) adventure.

Over the years, we have talked about whether we should have or if we would want another kid.  Before we got married, we had talked about it several times.  He wanted three kids, I wanted one.  Our compromise was two.     After the boy though, I kind of went back on my word.  Oh come on, don't give me a hard time about it.  I didn't expect it to happen! When they say a baby changes everything, they don't really explain what that means.  It changed my mind about wanting another baby right away, that's for sure.  It takes a toll on you - mentally and physically.   I didn't totally go back on my word anyway, I just put it off.  We tried for another one later, it just didn't stick.

During those talks so many years ago, we discussed adopting and we were both completely for it.  Now that Lars is 4 we have decided it is time.  And, as luck would have it, he has been asking for a brother.  Or a sister.  Depending on the day.  When I was his age, I wanted a kangaroo so we are ahead of the curve with this one.  So, as we do with so many things, we started researching and planning and thinking - overdoing all of it.

I got an email from Chris one day while I was at work.  He was at a show in Philadelphia when he received an email from his HR department asking for ideas / nominations for charities and he wanted my opinion (wait, what? Really...MINE?).  His awesome company picks one each year and focus on it for fundraising over the holidays.  I did a quick search for a charity or organization for children that was local and came across one called Jonathan's Place.  They have an amazing shelter in Garland that takes in abused and neglected kids.  Oddly enough, they also have a foster to adopt program, well, lookie there.  Sometimes you just get that strong urge to finally just DO IT ALREADY.  I sent the info to Chris and added that I was going to call them to talk about their adopting program.  I made the call, scheduled our orientation and BAM.  We were in.

Orientation was so uplifting.  It really didn't teach us a whole lot, I mean they went over the organization and the requirements and all but the best part was just that feeling of...they need us.  These kids need someone, us, to just love them and teach them that they can be loved.  We can do that.  For all of the struggles that it will undoubtedly bring, and all of the emotional turmoil we will most likely get into for one reason or another, our job in this is to teach any kid we get, permanent or not, that they are worth being loved and that there are people that will love them.  These poor kids have not had that before.  We can do that.

We are SO excited to do that!!  Don't get me wrong, we are still scared and worried but much more excited than either of those.  The good we can do far outweighs the bad that could happen.
I will keep you posted, no doubt.

Why I am was breaking up with Facebook

For quite some time now, I have been debating leaving the socially awkward world of Facebook and have very recently decided it is coming to the time it actually happen.  For me, logging into Facebook has become like going to the lame party you really don't enjoy but are obligated to go because all your friends are going.  So, you go and you just wander like a zombie though the maze of people, making small talk with a few, creepily staring at others while wondering why anyone even invited them in the first place and trying to get the attention of the core group of friends you have while they are distracted with a hundred other people and games and memes.

Here are my reasons for leaving the party all by myself.  These will be in order of counting down to the most influential and important reason. 

5.  Facebook has gotten ridiculous with ads

     Seriously, between the right quarter of my page covered in unnecessary and repetitive ad for items and services I don't need.  I do not want to be an ultrasound tech nor have I ever looked into being one.  I want to do that as much as I want to play Candy Crush Saga, which seems to be an ad CONSTANTLY on my screen.  Do they honestly think I haven't seen it enough having been bombarded by all of these requests my friends send to me?  Not only are they on the side of my screen, but they also are brought into my timeline feed in between friend posts.  I hide a lot of them but there are always others.  it is like the sand at the beach when you get home; just when you think you got it all out of your crevices, you feel more ten minutes later.  Facebook ads are the sand in my crevices.  

4.  It has gotten dull and the grammar sucks.  My grammar is not perfect by any means.  My biggest issue is grown people speaking like a teenager in 2005.  There is more than one person that, when they post, I literally do not know what they are saying.  Each time I read it I wonder if I have actually had a stroke and my brain just is not functioning the way it should.  After the fourth or fifth time reading and not getting it I finally give up and move on to literate people that have something to actually say.  That in itself is getting tougher to come by though.  Not every post needs to be a scream it from the top of the mountain so everyone can hear it thing but really, I, wait, NO ONE, cares about your mundane day-to-day tasks.  People commonly say to "leave that for Twitter" but I honestly don't think they care over there either.  There are those Facebookers that post the same things over and over.  There is nothing more substantial in your like than being on another flight. You travel for your job.  Woo freaking hoo.  That is like me posting every time I work up a cost projection for my client moving a person to France - again.  Would anyone care about that? Nope.  That's why I don't do it.  If that is the case and there is nothing else going on for you, I think you should get off Facebook and make new friends.   Had triplets?  Hell yeah, post that!

3. It shows us how our friends can be when they are uncensored.  Facebook is many things to many people.  Some of use use it as a way to stay in touch with others, some use it as their news source, some are just nosy / curious about everyone else, and there are those that use it as an outlet.  We all have opinions, we all need to find a way to get those out.  Some people keep them hidden.  Until they get their hands on a keyboard and a Facebook account.  It is these secret people that shock me.  By secret, I am talking about those people that are one way in person and a completely different person on Facebook.  They use it as their podium, their safety net to post what they want to say without fear of what others will think.  It makes them strong.  It sometimes makes them assholes too.  Do we all have that friend we love to see in person but hate to read on Facebook?  I sure do.  I wish I have never befriended some of those people on Facebook because I sure like them better in person.

2.  Even with all of the above complaints, it is still addictive.  I admit, I like to be cynical and bitch about other people.  It is fun and I am good at it.  I'm not alone in this, right Alicia!?! *waiting for my high five that may never come*.  So, yes, I find myself checking it all the time.  On work breaks, off work breaks, at lunch, at home, before bed.  All the time. Because - there is no reason.  I hate how much time it takes away from other things like Larsipan and StumbleUpon.

1.  It gets mixed up with real life.
One day a friend asked me if I had spoken to another of our friends recently.  "Yes, of course, I spoke to her the other day" was my response.  After this I realized,  I really hadn't spoken to her...all we did was comment to each other on Facebook about her status.  We had not had an actual conversation in weeks.  I believe Facebook is an excellent way to keep in touch with far away friends or even to make new friends through others.  However, it is also a way to avoid actually seeing people that live near you.  It gives a false sense of closeness.  We take for granted that we "talk" to these people every day or "see" what they are doing in their lives but we really are looking at it as an outsider; almost like a stalker.  It seems to be hurting my friendships.

************Update:  I am not, in case you have not noticed, leaving Facebook.   Here is why:

It is not Facebook's fault that all of this bothers me. It is not Facebook's fault that some of my friends speak like a 14 year-old or that others lead extremely boring lives or even that I turned into a stalker that does not see my friends often enough.  It is all my fault.  Well, not my fault for the first two but my fault for 1) letting it bother me and 2) being friends with people I don't want to hear about.  SO - I deleted those teenage-talking dweebs and the ones that are extremely boring.  I also am going to make it a point to see my friends more in real life.

Having so many friends far away and meeting new people through amazing friends on Facebook are what keeps me here.  So,  I just need to change what I don't like and quit bitching about it.  Nah, I will still bitch...I will just enjoy it more.

There are so many GOOD things about Facebook that got hidden by the bad.  The bad is and always will be there but I need to focus on the other not-bad things.  The great things people do post, the amazing things people have to say about each other, the fun events that I get invited to.  It all needs to keep going and I want to be there for it.  Facebook is teaching me to refocus my attention on the positive and reorganize my friends into real ones vs. fake Facebook friends.  I don't have any of those any longer.   My friend list consists of those people that I would have over to my house for dinner.  This is something I just need to make happen MORE.  

Hate never begets love

Along with so many other of my friends, we are disappointed that there is actually a Facebook page dedicated to the killing of George Zimmerman.  Why Facebook allows this page to exist is beyond me.  To be honest, I feel I may be done with Facebook because of this.  On to Google+ I say!  Before I leave I had some final words to the inconsiderate murderer-wanna-be that started this "Kill George Zimmerman" page.  This is what I posted on his page:

Although I 100% agree our judicial system failed us (as a general societal "us), what kind of world do you want to live in where we socially, globally, and so adamantly condone and encourage killing?  Whether it is in revenge or simply because you disagree in how this was handled, it does not make it right to perpetuate the killing of a man.
I also disagree that this was a race case in the eyes of the jury.  This was a case of a horrible prosecution team vs. a better defense team than this guy deserved.  Same attorneys and same jury - I feel this would have ended with the guy walking away no matter his race and it would be as much of a disappointment and catastrophe as it is today.  What happened was arguably preventable, wrong, and so terribly handled by everyone involved.  But at the same time, to propose killing this man is absurd.  Nothing will change except for the loss it will be on his family.  You obviously will not care about that, but most of us do.  An eye for an eye does not make a better world.  Killing him will not change the world or even make others not want to kill.
You want changes?  We all want that - we all NEED that.   Love and coming together in support is what will change the world.  We need more of that.   

Many of us have reported this to Facebook because, really, what else can we do?  All of us have heard from Facebook with the response of:

Thank you for taking the time to report something that you feel may violate our Community Standards. Reports like yours are an important part of making Facebook a safe and welcoming environment. We reviewed the page you reported for containing credible threat of violence and found it doesn't violate our community standard on credible threat of violence.

This was my feedback to Facebook:

How can you support someone when your terms CLEARLY state that you prohibit promoting or celebrating any actions if they could result in harm to others?  While there is probably doubt that someone will kill George Zimmerman because of this Facebook post, it is promoting the killing of this man.  What does your term "credibly" mean?  I don't understand why this is acceptable to you.  Does George Zimmerman have to report it as harassment? Why can't we, as the public, report this on his behalf and save the trouble?  Your terms state that you: "take action on all reports of abusive behavior directed at private individuals".  This fits the harassment terms as well as the violence terms that state:
"You may not credibly threaten others, or organize acts of real-world violence. Organizations with a record of terrorist or violent criminal activity are not allowed to maintain a presence on our site. We also prohibit promoting, planning or celebrating any of your actions if they have, or could, result in financial harm to others, including theft and vandalism." 

How can someone rant about racism and wrong-doing yet turn around and start a page promoting the killing of another man?  The only good thing about this is that 90% - if not more - of the comments on that page are opposed to it.  The page only has a few hundred followers right now so there is still hope in the people of the world.  Facebook is really pissing me off though.

The Curtis Hotel - a review

This hotel is, in a word, FUN right from the moment the double doors open.  Inside the air lock (what I always call that space between two sets of doors because I have seen too many space / deep sea movies with air locks) there is a welcome sign for the pets of guests including Polaroids of past pet guests and their names.  In front of this sign on the floor there are two silver bowls.  One contains fresh, clean water while the other is filled with delicious looking (if I were a dog, I am sure they would look delectable) treats.  I did not bring my dog but was still impressed by the welcoming given to any canines coming for a stay here.  Denver, in general, seems to be a HUGE dog loving city - even more than Austin, Texas.

The lobby seems to have been taken over by an explosion of colors, lights, and nostalgia.  The reception desk is within steps of the front door and houses the most friendly staff I have ever met.  In fact, on night two when asking for our cookie (it is, after all, a Doubletree hotel) she accidentally (?) gave us an extra cookie.  When my husband, the twerp, mentioned it out loud she immediately said, "I didn't hear anything at all" while her counterpart at the desk began shaking her head with a blank stare as if to say, "me either" even while she was helping another guest.  No, it was not a big deal but it was really cute how they both played along instead of boringly just telling us to keep it, or worse, taking it back.  Just to the side of the front doors is a long table which looks like a dining table in someone's home.  Next to that is a floor to ceiling, wall to wall bookcase.  The top shelf is filled with board games, old-school type of course, such as Candy Land and Boggle.  While the rest of the shelves contain books of all varieties.  They are neatly arranged so that their covers are facing out rather than their spines.

Another very amusing aspect of this hotel is that each floor has a different theme.  Now, I use the term "theme" loosely as all this means is that there are different pictures on the wall highlighting the theme and the elevator, instead of chiming at your floor, says something associated with your floor's theme.  Floor 13 - yes, amazingly, this hotel has an actual 13th floor and they take advantage of that by aptly naming it "Dun Dun Dunnnnnnnnn!" because this is the horror floor.  Upon arrival, the elevator says, "Heeeere's Johnny" followed by a slightly menacing giggle.  The 4th floor, "Perfect Pair" is all about famous duos.  The walls are adorned with art depicting some of your favorites; Batman & Robin, Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid, peanut butter & jelly, and Bert & Ernie.  Each floor has a large mirror that can be seen when exiting the elevators that has a different saying on it for each floor as well, The Dance Floor's mirror, for example, says "Nobody puts Baby in a corner".   That's it.  As far as I can tell, the floors are all the same other than these few things.  This disappointed me as I was looking forward to visiting each floor and noting the fun distinctions.

Downstairs, there is a restaurant and martini bar named The Corner Office.  The atmosphere in the restaurant is a bit more fancy and upscale feeling than the rest of the hotel. The door from the outside street corner is actually more inviting than the door from the hotel so my assumption is they are hoping for more outside business than hotel business, which explains the difference in ambiance.  Entering the restaurant from the hotel feels like you are being led in through the back and secret entrance.  The food and drinks here have been very good albeit a bit on the pricey side.  There does not seem to be a consistency with pricing though as some items are reasonable while others are outrageous.  The Office Burger (which is one item I ordered) runs at a pretty reasonable USD 11.00, with fries,  while the Southern Fried Chicken & Waffles comes in at USD 16.00 and takes 20 minutes.  I will be trying the Baked Lobster Mac & Cheese before I leave though, and this runs at a whipping USD 21.00 but looks amazing.

There are a few items I have found I do not like here.  The main item I dislike is the bed.  The hotel carries the Sweet Sleeper beds by Doubletree but, for me, they are not sweet.  Many people apparently like them as they are more on the firm side of things but I like a softer mattress and actually prefer the Sheraton mattresses.  I wake up in quite a lot of pain, to be honest, and really miss my bed at home.

There is not a lot of light in the room when the curtains are closed or night has fallen.  There is a light switch on the wall that controls one solitary light fixture by the door, one lamp on the nightstand which one turns on with a switch on the lamp itself, one floor lamp in the corner with a foot operated button, and one lamp on the desk which is also a manual switch.

Here is the breakdown of this hotel stay over the past few days:

Things I like:

• Overall atmosphere
• Doubletree cookies
• The look of the shower is simple.  It is a large stall shower with two tile walls, one glass wall, and the shower curtain on the remaining side.  There is a light in the shower, which i personally love.  Plus the glass wall lets in even more light.     
• Furniture in the rooms is wood and pretty.  The decor of the room is very simple and not overpowering or busy.  
• Large window in the room to let in a lot of light and shows off the mountains in the distance
• Staff is extremely friendly and helpful but not intrusive.
• Restaurant food is, so far, very good as are the drinks.  
• Location - right in downtown a few blocks from everything.  The convention center is about two blocks away, 16th street, where the free shuttle is caught, is two blocks away, there is a bus stop for the RTD one block away. There is a 7-Eleven right around the corner for any items forgotten or drinks & snacks (just remember - no refrigerator or microwave in the room!).
• Free Wi-Fi - just get a password from the front desk which lasts for a few days before a new one is needed.  They have a "high speed" upgrade for USD 8.95 per 24 hour period but there is no problem at all with the free connection.  I don't see that anyone would really need the upgrade.  

Things I did not like:

• Beds (Sweet Sleeper beds)
• Placement of toilet paper roll was too close - it feels cramped when sitting on the toilet because the roll of paper pressed against the leg of the user
• Lack of safe in room (although, they offer safe deposit boxes at reception for free)
• Lack of refrigerator in room
• Small amount of storage space - there is one armoire that has limited hanging space plus a few very small shelves, one "dresser" with only three usable drawers as the other side is a cabinet.  The desk does not have any drawers but there are two drawers in the nightstand.  
• Cost of food in the restaurant is a bit high depending on what is ordered but the room service rates are outrageous.  Just for room service, they charge a 20% fee plus a USD 2.00 delivery charge.  So your USD 14.00 Crabcake Benedict and USD 3.00 juice will end up costing you USD 20.40. 
• Lack of hooks in the bathroom.  There are three hooks EXACTLY.  None of these are actually in the shower which means there is nowhere to hang your scrubby thingie or your washcloth, whichever you use.  There are two hooks on the back of the door, not even close to the shower, and one over the oddly placed toilet paper holder where the hair dryer is hung in a canvas bag that says "hairdryer".  If you hang a body towel on this hook it will hit the paper roll or lightly brush the person sitting on the throne.   I assume this hook is possibly for the bath mat as that is smaller.  However, if there are more than two people in the room, hooks will need to be shared if you plan on using towels repeatedly.  I suppose, you could just throw them on the floor each day and get new ones although that seems to not be what the hotel would like since they appear to suggest you reuse your towels and be earth conscious and all.  You would think they would provide more hooks in order to conserve water.
• There is no pool! I was most disappointed in this fact but, as I did not choose the hotel, I could not complain much.  The worst part is having to look out of my window and the TWO pools just below me for two other places (one being a residential tower).  

Items I am indifferent to but may be important to others and comments I have heard from others in my group:

• The hair dryer is a Conair 1875.  It does not seem to be all  that powerful but it did dry my hair enough (to be fair, I don't blow dry all my hair each day as it mostly air dries so this was of not much concern to me).  It seems to be more powerful than other hotel units but not as powerful as what even I have at home.  
• The shower head does not move.  It looks as though it maybe is supposed to but mine did not.  
• There is no bathtub in any of the rooms as far as I can tell.  This was a concern of people I spoke to in our group but was not a matter to me.  
• The coffee maker in the room is a Wolfgang Puck 2-cup maker with the pods.  It made coffee just fine once I got it to work.  Apparently, the buttons need to be pushed just right or else it beeps at you in a very mockingly manner.  To me it sounded like Nelson from The Simpsons saying "HA HA".   I did get milk for my coffee but had to keep it in the ice bucket due to the lack of a refrigerator. The coffee package does include two individual servings of International Delight half & half creamers.  However, I use about 2x that per cup of coffee.  
• The water bottles in the room cost USD 3.00 each to open.  No thank you. 
• The cab ride from the airport is approximately USD 60.00 one-way.  Not much can be done about that - it is not the hotel's fault!
• There is a breakfast buffet but it is USD 19.00 and very basic.
• The glass wall in the shower would not allow any privacy if someone were to need the toilet while another was in the shower.  Although, glass wall faces the door and not the toilet so it may not be as detrimental to everyone's insecurities.  
• The bathroom toiletry amenities are Crabtree & Evelyn's Citron collection of shampoo, soap, and conditioner.  I am not impartial to any variety of these and do not use any shampoo but others seem to be very excited about this choice.  I used the soap and conditioner and was pleased.  
• There is no HBO or any other premium channels on the television.
• There are no microwaves in the rooms.
• There seems to be a very nice fitness center on the second floor although I am no expert at these.

General Information                                                                                                       

Address:
1405 Curtis Street, Denver, Colorado 80202

Phone:
303.571.0300 / 800.525.6651

Website:
http://www.thecurtis.com/

Costs:
Rates for July 4th 2013 / one night:
USD 125.00 per night for a standard rate
USD 132.00 for Senior or AARP or AAA rates
USD 140.00 for military / government rate
** Standard rate is lower than all other "discounted" rates.  I am not able to check corporate rates.

Byers-Evans House - a review

This house is gorgeous.  It is not ornate and ostentatious as so many wealthy homes turned museums (e.g. the Molly Brown house also here in Denver).  No, this family and this house are perfectly blended with money and humility.  This is one reason it fast became one of my favorite historical homes to visit.  Now, I should add that the Byers and Evans families were not as wealthy as, say, the Vanderbilt family and may be only considered upper-middle class.  But it is still an extremely beautiful home.  

It was extremely easy to get to the house.  From where I am staying in The Curtis on Curtis Street, I walked a bit then took the free bus that drives up and down 16th Street.  Exit the bus at either Cleveland or Cheyenne and walk south through Civic Center Park, which is beautiful in itself.  Just on the other side of Civic Center Park is the Denver Art Museum.  Take a right onto 13th Street and the house is right there on your right.

I was greeted at the front by Judy, our tour guide.  Judy is, by her own admittance, over 70 years old and seems to very much enjoy this work that she does.  While we waited for more groups to join us before the 1:30 tour, we chatted about why I was in Denver (for my husband's work with the AIA convention) and that she used to work for a company that did printing of publications for conventions. Judy was very friendly and easy to talk to.

The tour began right on time, if not a few minutes early (oopps, sorry if anyone came a little late).  Our tour group was only a total of five people, including Judy and myself, two young girls and their grandmother (whose name I have forgotten.  Sorry, nice lady with the two well-behaved girls).  Judy included these young girls (ages around 8 and 4) in the entire tour.  At the beginning she added that the 8 year old (let's call her Dimples) had been on the tour previously with her school and was going to be helping out.  Of course, this made Dimples all excited and proud yet a bit embarrassed.  It was super cute.

The rules on this tour are simple: no touching or sitting on anything and no flash photography although pictures without flash are allowed (excellent!).  We got to the second room of the tour when another group joined us (a 20-something girl and 4 young boys, ages 8, 9, and two were 10).  Judy quickly caught them up on where we were with the information given so far, with our permission, and then we set on our way.  Again, Judy incorporated all of the children into the conversation and tour as much as possible.  She let them ask any questions they wanted (the first question one of the boys asked was if the house was haunted - sadly, no, it is not), she even let them touch certain objects that were, apparently, not on the "no touching" rule list.  There was a working Victrola which the kids took turns winding up. We got to listen to the music there which was fantastic.  They also had an Edison but we were not allowed to use that - disappointing but I imagine it does not work.

The best part of this house?  The fact that almost everything (I believe she said 90% of it) is authentic / original form the time of at least the Evans family.  The Byers family lived there just before the Evans' and there is not a lot left from their time in the house although the family did donate a few items.  Most of the belongings are from donations of the Evans family.  The youngest daughter, Katherine, was apparently her own episode of Hoarders and kept everything.  This meant that when the state of Colorado took it over, there were thousands of pieces intact and set up so that they were easily able to piece together life at the house.  Thanks Katherine!

I highly recommend this tour to anyone coming to Denver.  The entire area in which the house sits is beautiful and full of other things to do.  Plus, for USD 6.00 it is a damn great deal!

YOT 73 - "I love you most"

We all have those memories of our moms that we hate; there are those things they did that we remember where we think, "Man, I seriously hated when she did that!".  The one that stands out the most is what she did on the mornings before school.  

She would come in our rooms and DEMAND us to get up as if we were in the Air Force (as she once was.  I am so incredibly proud of her for choosing to enlist into the armed forces.  I am quite sure, that is never an easy decision to make but she did it and, I believe, it was absolutely the right one for her.  Without that choice, I may not have been born!  I feel the Air Force made her stronger, made her proud, and gave her that sense of self that she was missing at the time.  It also gave her the perfect husband for her!  So, in the long run, the Air Force gave her happiness.)

Oh, and if you said you were sick, all hell would break loose.  No, you better have clear signs of leprosy or stroke or else your ass was getting out of that bed and going to school.  In all honesty though, she KNEW when you were faking.  I have no clue how in those 5 seconds of listening to us saying we didn't feel good she could do a full body scan on us and determine that we did, in fact, feel fine and just did not want to go OR that yes, they are a bit sick and staying home is a viable option.  Cyborg.  That is the only answer.  

If you did stay home, there were strict rules.  This, I am fully aware, was the final test for staying home.  If you felt fine, there is no way any sane person would agree to the terms and promises put upon you for the day.  If you felt horrible, you did not care about the rules and would comply to anything.  No television, no video games, no visiting of friends, no eating crap.  You would think we would realize that she wouldn't know all of these things even if we did them but the fact she knew we were faking basically made us wonder what else she could find out.  We were not stupid enough to risk it.  She also knew when we had tests.  She would say, "Don't you have a chemistry test today?"  Before my answer of "No, why would you think that?", my mind would reel with Wait, what?  I didn't tell you that, how do you know that?  What the hell? Are you talking to my teachers?  Crap.   ( Now that I am grown up, I appreciate the Dictatorship of my mother on school mornings.  This was the only time I remember her as that description, to be fair.  She had to be strict on us for this.  She was smarter than us in so many things but this especially.  She was teaching us so many lessons in that few minutes every morning.  She taught us that we could not fool her, that she was not to be "had" by a couple of evil-doing adolescents.  She was teaching us that sometimes, no matter how you feel, you have to do the right thing and just suck-it up.  She was teaching us that we were not going to ruin HER job and that she did not have time to baby us anymore because she also had to get to work; this in turn was teaching us that we were not the center of the universe. Life does not stop because we are too tired to get up or because we forgot to study for the test we had that day.  We needed these lessons.It now makes me second guess my feelings when I first wake up.  I fully believe that if my mother had let me stay home every time I wanted to, I would not have the work ethic I have today and would probably not have a job anymore.).  

My mom always says I got my stubbornness form Dad.  So not true.  Well, partly true, but not completely.  She was plenty stubborn. She was very hard to negotiate with as well.  If she said something, it pretty much was the way it would be.  Even Dad didn't [publicly] override her decisions. She says it is cleaning day and you want to go out with your friends?  Nope, you should have planned ahead and done your cleaning earlier.  You went to the mall and ate pizza with your friends an hour before dinner and want to skip it?  Sorry, it is family time and you chose poorly.  Mom ran the household whether she realized it or not.  (She had her stubbornness all along.  From the very time she met my father in the Air Force, it was mom that was being the stubborn one; she was fighting with him to keep her nail polish on when he was a medic and trying to get her to take it off for a procedure.  He must had appreciated the charm then too because not long after, they were married.  

Family time was always important.  It didn't matter if it was cleaning day or family dinner time.  Family dinner time could be anywhere from 5:00 to 10:00 at night.  The important part was that we were together whenever possible so if that meant Dad didn't get home from work until 9:00, and all we had was Taco Bell because it was late, then that is what we did.  I remember the nights of sitting at the table, or even the living room, with our Taco Bell eating dinner late but still doing it together.  As much as everyone dreaded cleaning days, there were some great qualities to them as well.  My mom would always have her hair up in her palm tree pony tail.  Her hair was always full and straight and usually short.  When it was long enough, she would put it up in a ponytail on top of her hear for cleaning days and fell ending up looking exactly like a palm tree.  I love that memory of her.  It was adorable.  She would also sing during cleaning times.  I remember being little and wondering why she never became a singer.  It was such a wonderful feeling hearing her sing.  She would sing such random songs but for some reason,  I can still hear hear singing 

"Lipstick on your collar told a tale on you

Lipstick on your collar said you were untrue

Bet your bottom dollar you and I are through

Cuz lipstick on your collar told a tale on you"

I still remember hearing her sing that and wondering if she meant it and during cleaning day, she found lipstick on Dad's collar.  I was too scare to ask but quickly realized that she was too happy when she sang it.  Had she been bitter and scary, I would have worried more.  

Now that I am grown, I make sure we always eat together as a family.  It might usually be in the living room but we are together and talking.  Where and what you eat, in my opinion, does not matter.  Mom taught us that if you are together, it is all good.  

Fighting with my mom happened quite often.  (92% my fault there, not hers).   We fought about everything   Why I couldn't go to my friend's house, why I couldn't talk on the phone for 45 minutes, why I had to do my homework.  Sometimes these arguments would end with just her saying, "you know what, fine. You go ahead and do whatever you want then if you are so smart."  Oh crap, that can't be good.  It always felt like a trap.  Or even when she said, "Go ask your father and see what he says".  I would always answer with, "Fine! I will, and he will be on my side!"  Yeah, he never was.  At least, if he WAS, he would side with my Mom in defense.  (Smart guy).  (Arguing with my mother was so difficult!  She was usually right and VERY clever in her arguments.  She used to tell me after I had gotten older that I was clever and it was hard to find points to argue with me about but, to tell you the truth, it was HER that was the clever one.  I only had to find new points because I had to keep up with HER.  She had excellent points and reasons for things so I found myself floundering and grasping for anything I could think of.  She made me have to think quick and become witty in my arguments.  The reason it felt like a trap when she said "do whatever you want" was because it was.  Oh, it was.  For anyone looking for advice about moms - when they say that - DON'T DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!! You will pay for it.  Mom taught us that you can, in fact, do whatever you want but you will ALWAYS pay the consequences.  They are usually not worth the choices.    Everything has consequences, good or bad.  She made us realize we had to think about that and weigh the options before making our choices. Mom always thought I thought I was smarter than them...but in actuality, I knew I wasn't and was trying to figure how to be.  I am still trying to figure that out. )

I love my mother. Period.  I would not trade her for any other mother ever.  She taught my sister and I how to be moms and how to be a family.  She taught us that family was not just blood but whomever you chose to into your heart to be your family.  She taught us to laugh at our mistakes, not dwell on them negatively.   Our mom did what moms are supposed to do.  She taught us love, family, strength, and the courage to live our lives being good people.  Courage, yes, because it is so much easier sometimes to make the bad choices.  She gave us the gift of learning how to choose the harder, yet right choices and making our lives, and others' lives, better.   

Mother's Dy can be quite commercial and cheesy, we know.  So I want you to know that I appreciate you each and every day.  Not a single day goes by that I don't use something you taught me or appreciate something about you and my childhood.  Mother's Day or not, I am so thankful for having you as my mom.   Thank you. 

YOT 72 - SMG being the good guy

Last week, as you may, or may not have any idea, I wrong a letter to Studio Movie Grill in Spring Valley about some of the compliments and complaints I had with my first ever visit there.
Didn't read it but want to?  Forgot all about it?  Here it is: Original Letter to SMG Spring Valley

Well, I have to admit, that the Assistant General Manager, Tim Pittman, seems to be a great guy that cares about his theater.  Here is his response:

I appreciate that you took the time to give us feedback on your experience.  I apologize, however, that it did not measure up to the standards that Studio Movie Grill has been known for.

We pride ourselves in delivering a great experience with quality food, excellent service, a clean store and a friendly smiling staff.  I see from your email that we did not provide that for you. The management staff is currently reviewing how to have the bathrooms continuously clean even during high volume time periods.  We currently have a staff member assigned to check every 15 minutes however I believe we may need to simply place someone in there always.  I am embarrassed that staff members were not more helpful to you and more pleasant. 

In regards the tables, these are almost exactly the same tables that are in the VIP rows of certain theaters in Arlington location.  The only difference is that placement of the light box.  I prefer the ones at Arlington also.  We are currently looking at newer table designs to better accommodate our guests here at Spring Valley.  I apologize that they caused such a difficult time for you and your family.

Please give us another chance to show you the true SMG experience.

He also is giving me four free tickets to use to give him another chance.  You bet I will do that, Tim!

So many times, we (you, me, everyone) mentions concerns or issues with management and they really just don't care.  I mean, many times they OBVIOUSLY don't care.  Other times you just get that vibe and expect nothing to change.  But, sometimes you get those people that seem to love their job, love their customers, and honestly want to be proud of their business and want you happy.  Tim Pittman is one of those guys and I believe Studio Movie Grill is one of those places.  

I am thankful when someone, especially a  business owner / representative, cares enough to acknowledge an issue, apologize, and think about ways to correct them.  Even without the ticket offer, this would have been an excellent email that made me want to visit again.  There were many good things about this place and none of the bad things ruined my night with Omega - all of which I mentioned in my email to him.

Tim, I will not say no to your ticket offer!  Please know that while it was absolutely not necessary  it is very much appreciated but not as much as your amazing attitude and response.  Thank you!

YOT 71 - Flea-be-gone!

I was at the end of my rope.  Seriously, something has to stop these fleas!  We have had them for months now, ever since we dog-sat for someone.  It's been horrible.  *insert pitiful sad face here*  No,really, it has.  there is flea dirt everywhere.  The dog is itching constantly.  It is embarassing when she goes to the vet and they have to clean up after her because she leaves flea dirt all over.  Nothing helps.  Literally, nothing I have tried has fixed it.  The Adams spray helps for a few days but then they come back - this sucks because every other year if we get fleas, I spray her with that and they are gone for good.

So, here I was on amazon.com (again).  I searched flea remedy for dogs and sorted by highest rated.  I bought the first one that was on the list immediately.

This is a one-day pill (although, I have had it lasting a few days) but they have a once-a-month pill that I got at the same time and she took that once the first night.  That one just takes a while to kill them because it only makes the adults sterile but does not kill them.  The one-day pill kills them.  So, together, they are a force to win them all!

Little City Dogs
Flea Killer Capsules for Cats and Small Dogs

I cannot say enough how great this stuff is!  Here is my review that I posted on Amazon.com:

To be completely honest, I was hesitant at first.  As much as I hate it, I am drawn to the colorful, flashy products even though I know that does not automatically make them better.  It's like when you are flipping through the channels and scroll past the old 70's style movie because the picture isn't as high quality as today's movies...that is not to say it is a bad movie or even worse; it just gives that first impression aura.  Again, honesty here, I tried it because it got amazing reviews and the price was outrageously low so I figured I had very little to lose.

Apparently, what I had to lose was fleas.   This little super tiny pill works wonders.  The night you get it you open what looks like a pill box for infants and stare at those minuscule capsules wondering how that is going to do any good.   After surrounding it, easily, in shredded cheese and giving it to the dog, you notice how easily it disappears.  Maybe it is because it is smaller than the shreds of cheese and goes unnoticed, maybe it is because it is beef flavored (although I did not taste-test it); it really doesn't matter because it is gone and you think nothing will happen anyway.

In the morning, you awaken to something different.  Unaware of what has changed, you shower, get ready for work, and notice the dog sitting on the bed waiting...just sitting there...BAM! It hits you like a beer bottle in a bar fight; she is just sitting there and not itching!  Not once - not even a flinch.  Ok, it is just a fluke, you think.  Luckily she is white (your dog color may differ than the one in this review and it is no reflection of the product.  In all fairness, my dog was white before the pills as well) so you can easily see her skin.  Not a single flea.  Nowhere.

You do a little embarrassing dance while the dog stares in confusion and scream to the world, "BEST FLEA STUFF EVER!!"

YOT 70 - SMG makes me SMH

Here is my letter to Studio Movie Grill on my experience tonight :-)

Hello SMG!

I have gone to your Arlington location several times and have never had a complaint.  Tonight, however, we went to the Dallas / Spring Valley location and my experience changed.  

Upon entering the location, we were so impressed!  It was beautiful and clean; it was so open and welcoming.  The service at the bar was great and there were even people passing out popcorn and a dessert (I didn't get offered any but it looked delicious!).  I even said to my husband while sitting at the bar, "well, my movie-going experience tonight it really amazing!". It was unlike the Arlington location that we normally visit.  

We were going to Theater 2 for Iron Man!  We got into the theater itself and it too was spotlessly clean.  It even smelled new!  Then we got to our seats.  The "tables" at our seats were the smallest I have seen in a dine-in theater.  They reminded me of the old desks we used to have in school.  Remember those; the ones where the desk was attached to the chair?  Yeah, those were bigger.  

The "table" swings out and to the right to sort of allow you to enter your seat.  There is still a bit of squeezing and jimmying to get between the back of the seat in front of yours and the "table" but you can do it!   So, I did.  After looking at the menu, which is great as always, our server came pretty quickly and was friendly.  In the 20 minutes it took to get our drinks, my elbow, hand, and menu hit the service call button three times accidentally.  The "table" is so small and the button is right where anyone's arm will hit it when naturally leaning on it.  I felt so because each time it happened, a server had to come over.  Ugh, how embarrassing.  After the third time I just had to sit with my hands tucked in behind the "table" like a little kid in trouble.  It was the only way to avoid the button. 

So, after the 20 minutes passed and we go our drinks, it immediately started sliding down towards me.  Now, here is where my predicament happened.  Do I hold the drink and risk pushing the button or keep my arm down and risk the drink sliding.   What to do - what to do...  I stole my husband's napkin and that seemed to hold the drink in place a bit better so  problem solved.   About 30 - 40 minutes after that, we got our food. The food was the same as the other location, it was just as good as normal.  Albeit, sliding down my "table" towards me.    The theater was packed so we were not upset or surprised about the length of time the drinks or food took.  It was completely understandable.

Finally, the awesome movie ended and we were happy - even temporarily forgetting (and forgiving) the "table" issues.  Wait - they are handing out mints right outside the theater - awesome!  Maybe I was too hard on you, SMG, and maybe I should give you another chance after all.   Happily, I chew on my mint when I realize all that Pepsi really gets to a girl so off to the restroom I go.

To be honest,  I have been in New York City subway station restrooms that were cleaner than this one.  In their defense  there may have been someone living there though.  I will give it one thing, it was huge!   There were so many stalls in there and that is impressive.   Upon entering the row of stalls, I see a girl going from one to another.  Immediately, I assume she is looking for one with toilet paper.  Sure enough, it took me 10 seconds to deduce how this nice restroom was funded;  they save money by only supplying 1/3 of the stalls with toilet paper.   All of them had dispensers for two rolls but 2/3 of the stalls were completely empty.  Luckily, a girl was leaving as I passed and I was one of the lucky few to get a complete stall! Whew!  As I was, erm, doing my thing, I overheard several discussions about needing paper.  The women in that restroom bonded over sharing toilet paper.  

On my way out, I did speak to two girls at the front ticket counter area.  One of them was very polite about it.  I very nicely stated exactly this, "Hi.  I just want to let you know that the restrooms are ..." Yes, I know that is not a complete sentence but that is all I got out before the non-so-polite girl answered me with, "ok, thank you.  So, thinking she just may have not heard me, I proceeded to complete my statement while rephrasing it a bit.  "They are pretty messy and..."  Damn, foiled again by not-so-polite girl with her "ok, thank you".  I began a little mini rant to see if I could actually get my point across to her and count how many interruptions I received.  I had only three sentences to get out but she said "Ok, thank you" six times.  At the end, when i think we are all done she threw me for a loop when the last interruption was...no, not "ok thank you" but "ok, I will let the manager know". I like to think I won that little battle but I am not so sure.  

Anyway,  this has been my story on the experience tonight with a new location of your theater system.  I do hope you have a wonderful night and thank you for listening.    Keep up the great work in the bar area of this location - it was stellar!  Just maybe extend that experience to the rest. 

Regards,
Me

*** Not in the letter:  Tonight, I am thankful for finding stalls with toilet paper because egads! It sucks when you don't have any - especially if there is no one next to you.  I hope I am not alone here, but I have done the" pants close to all the way up but not touching the important (wet) parts  hope no one comes in and sees fast run/waddle to the next stall to find toilet paper" fiasco.  

YOT 69 - Boss Lady

I love my job. I just need to start by saying that because the rest of this may seem as if I feel the opposite.

My job is a good fit for me...I am not sure that I am a good fit for my job sometimes.  I have been there for just going on a year and a half now.  I was just getting to where I actually understood what I was doing!  Things were flying in and I was tossing my net out there catching everything.  Sure, some things hovered on the edge there but I always reeled them in at the end.  I was feeling confident, proud, excited, and relaxed.  Hell, I even got co-rookie of the year! The work is extremely interesting (to me - no one seems totally understand what it is I do even though it seems simple enough to me when I explain it). 

I don't think even Chris understands it.  If anyone there can explain to me what I do - someone that does not work where I do - I will give you a prize!

Then, oh then, the rug was yanked out from under me and I was scared.  Starting new things is good for me. I need it; I crave it.  So, being told I was going to learn so many new things was scare but so exciting!  I was actually a little over-confident and convinced myself I could pick it up with no problem in no time at all.   That's how I get along with almost every other thing I do.  Except Microsoft Access - that bitch is still beating me.  

There are times I am mistaken...this is one of those times.  Many days, I feel like my job is winning.  Especially lately.  Whew, it is so much all at once!  There are so many things I need to learn, remember, and DO.  I am actually finding it very hard to keep track of it all and even tougher yet to actually make it happen the way it should.  

My manager, however, is amazing.  She is extremely patient, even when I screw up and cause her more work.  Inside she might be screaming, "WHY IS LISA HERE!?!?!  She should be working at 7-11!" But outside, she is telling me all of the reasons why I should not feel bad about the mistakes.  "How could you have known this?  I never showed you."  or "You have only done this once or twice before" or "It was so easy to miss, I may have missed it too".   There is always something she has to say to make me feel better about making her life miserable.  There are also few people, believe it or not, that I have worked with that know more about Excel than I do.  So,even there, I have so much to learn!  She has taught me a ton of useful stuff with respect to formulas and formatting that I never even knew existed.  Don't even get me started on how fabulous macros are!  Man, I love Excel.  

This YOT, I am thankful for my manager (whom I also consider a friend) for being able to put up with me and for being able to teach me SO much! 

Oh, yes, she has her moments.  We are a lot alike in that respect and, oddly, many others, but this most noticeably.  She does not hide well her frustrated moods, nor do I.  It is always a little comical and a bit scary when she is frustrated or angry with someone.  When that person is ME, or even if i have a slight inkling it is me, though,  I freeze.  My desk is my bubble and I wait like prey being hunted.   She is not bad when she gets like that but I think it goes back to childhood for me.  Getting in trouble came often for me...but the punishment I received was NEVER ever as bad as the feeling of disappointing my parents (or anyone).  Now that I am not with my parents, my next in line of being over me is my manager, whomever that may be.  I have always had this feeling of a fear of disappointing people.  Maybe it is not so much about them but the fear of disappointing myself;  if someone else is disappointed in me then I can't really be proud of myself now can I?

I will get there. It is just taking me MUCH longer than I want or anticipated and until the time where I feel like I "got" it, I will feel like a complete loser - but I try to make up for it by being good at Excel and making people laugh.  Those two things are my smoke & mirrors for now.  It's all I've got!

YOT 68 - Emeals.com (which makes me want to type "emails" 100% of the time)

As many of you saw, I posted a link to Groupon on my Facebook status the other day.  For $29 you can get a 12 month subscription to emeals.com where you get dinner menus and shopping lists.  For an entire year you get someone else to do this for you!

So, you don't get to pick your specific meals, or even change them around.  You DO get to pick the type of eating you want to do.  I chose Paleo for now - I wanted to see how it goes.  Once a week for a year, I will get a menu emailed to me for 7 days of dinners and it will be accompanied by a shopping list.  This means I will not have to spend hours finding recipes and putting all the ingredients together in a shopping list.  Nope, I have people for that now.  I am fancy.

This YOT, I am thankful for emeals.com for saving me so much time and money because I am ONLY buying what is on my list and it will be all used up in the 7 meals.  For me, this is a glorious thing.  Some might not like it because you lose a lot of the spontineity of what to have for dinner.  Sure, you can have mean 6 on night 3 but that's about as crazy as it gets.  See, for ME - that is what I need.  In my case, if I am left to decide what to have for dinner, it will probably have to be picked up or delivered.  This menu thing puts me in my place.

Plus, I made the choice of having menus for the family versus 2 people so we have leftovers for lunches!  I'm smart like that.

Plus, great scott, my refigerator has never looked so healthy!  Green is everywhere.  (Usually that is the mold form the leftover crap we never eat so this is a HUGE improvement.)

YOT 67 - Garlic, yeah, I said garlic

If you keep reading through the next post, you will see I have been cooking.  Tonight, it was prepping for tomorrow's dinner when I realized what this YOT would be.

Tomorrow, we are having garlic chicken.  This is a new recipe that can be cooked in the slow cooker (yippee!).  It always amazes me the prep work that goes into slow cooker recipes.  I mean, I thought that this was supposed to be so much simpler; apparently the actual COOKING is easier but the prep is the same most of the time.

Things were going along just fine; chicken went into the pot, wine and broth covered it.  Next up, garlic.  It's garlic, how hard can that be?  Great Scott, it sucks!  Three heads of garlic, separated into cloves and peeled.  Peeling each clove is a lot of work! There are a lot of cloves in three heads of garlic.

Tonight, this small YOT, I am thankful for the jars of minced garlic!  Oh yes, yes I am.  Next time, I will read the recipe thoroughly and just substitute cloves of garlic for pre-done minced stuff that some amazing people did for me.

My hands stink (yeah, I will put lemon juice on them), by back hurts from standing up that whole time (yeah, I should have been sitting), the counter was a mess because that garlic peel goes everywhere.

This chicken better be damn good.

YOT 66 - My one and only but not my only one

To piggyback on my YOT number 65, I bring you number 66.

Every time I meet someone that is still with their first and only love, I am amazed.  I am amazed, confused, awed, and concerned.

 I mean I hate to buy a mattress because it is a 10 year commitment.  As someone that likes to weigh my options with everything, it is dumbfounding to me that people go on their first date EVER and never date anyone else again.  Saying I like to weigh my options is not to say that I am not spontaneous or I take my time with decisions. Oh, quite the contrary.  I tend to jump into things quickly and make many snap decisions.  However, once I make a choice, I IMMEDIATELY want to know what the other option is like.  I am this way with everything from the brand of toothpaste I use to the genre of movies I see.  While my favorite toothpaste may be Crest, I am absolutely not going to just stick with that for the rest of my life without seeing what the other guys have to offer.  What if Aquafresh is better than it looks?  I mean, look at those stripes, those colors; Crest cannot think I don't look at others, right?

Now though, after having tried Aquafresh, I am sure that it is not the right one for me.  I know I like the way it looks but the way it just is not the same as Crest.  Colgate, though, Colgate is pretty close but still not just right.

See where I am going with this?  I don't know how you can know what is right for YOU if you don't know what is wrong.

So, I am thankful that I have exes.  I am thankful that all those guys thought I was right for them at the time even if I wasn't - yet another lesson learned:  It is not just that others are wrong for me, but I am also wrong for others.  I am thankful that by going through all of the things that were wrong for me, I found the one that has everything right.

YOT 65 - Exes are not always terrible but better as exes

How many of you have an ex?  Oh, probably 99% of us have an ex of some sort.  Maybe it was a short-lived romance that just burned out, maybe it was a full-on love affair that ended in the most devastating way, perhaps it was an awful, terrifying experience that scared the hell out of you so you got out, or it is possible that you thought it was the one true thing but got your heart torn to a million pieces when they left you.

At the time it happens, no matter the way it happens, it is (almost always) a dark, horrible time.  Breaking up is not easy even when it is the absolute right thing to do.  It means starting over, leaving the comfort of knowing what will happen.  That can be a comfort even if what happens is terrifying; sometimes the not knowing can be scarier.  

Once it is over though, I mean after it is ALL over and you have moved on, whether that has been a month, a year, or a decade, do you think back on it?  Do you ever think about what you learned?  You did not spend that time with someone else, didn't let yourself open up to someone, didn't completely give in to someone just to have nothing to show for it in the end.  You should never come out of any relationship without being smarter than you were at the start of it.  You may not realize it, but I would be willing to bet you learned SOMETHING.  

I have learned something, little or big, from everyone I have dated.  The people I dated were obviously not the right choice for me but everyone has something to teach.  I have learned so many things!  I have learned what a cotter pins and castle nuts are, how to install windows, I have become damn good at taping up drywall and I know installing cabinets is a horrible job to do.  I have learned that mac and cheese is better than french fries to go alongside my hamburger,  how to shoot guns and I am not half bad at shooting clay targets.  

Most importantly, I have learned how to be a better companion in a relationship.  I have learned what works and does not work universally.  Certain things work with certain people yes, but everyone wants some basic things and I have learned more about how to focus more on those and what specific things each unique person needs.  I have learned that it is a relationship and not all about me and what I want or need out of it.  I have learned how to compromise, be more patient, sacrifice, give in, and, when absolutely necessary, shut the hell up and accept defeat (no, that is not often but still...).  

I am very thankful for the opportunity to learn from my past and my exes; thankful for realizing that just because it didn't work doesn't mean it was a waste of time.